Worst Marketing Ever

Like the "Swine Fever" sketch from SNL, but real.

Was My GPS Trying to Blow My Mind? Because It Did.

Cirque du Soleil has nothing on The Ross Sisters

Be sure to watch this all the way to the end. Astounding.

Last night's SURVIVOR: Was Anyone Else Terrified by the Fish with the Human Face??

Ridiculously Cute Lottery Ad

(via Buzzfeed)

The Argument for a Public Option That Will Convince Even a Republican

Have you ever known someone who had a loved one who was suffering from a terrible disease or injury? Someone whose child or wife or husband was terribly ill? Have you ever known someone in that situation who was uninsured? Or underinsured? Who was dealing with a a horrible health crisis, and had no idea how to pay for it? Who was slowly realizing he or she would end up grief-stricken, alone and homeless?

Beatles Rock Band Commercial

The Way Democracy is Supposed to Work: People Being Reasonable

Senator Al Franken reasons with protestors, the protestors give him a chance, and a calm, respectful dialog ensues. People disagree, yet no one is screaming. Show your children how this country used to be, and tell them it can be this way again.

What to Say to Someone Who's Frightened by Health Care Reform

The government provides food for people who don't have any. Yet supermarkets and restaurants still thrive, and you are still free to eat wherever you like and whatever you like.

The government provides shelters and/or low-cost housing for people who need it. Yet there are still a wide variety of hotels, motels, apartments, houses and mansions for you to choose from.

The government provides a police force to patrol neighborhoods. But if you have the means to hire bodyguards, security teams and/or private investigators you are free to do so, and have many choices.

The government provides public transportation, yet you're still free to choose from a dazzling variety of cars. Even limos.

The government provides public schools and colleges, yet there are still private schools and colleges for those who can afford them.

The government provides an inexpensive postal service. Yet if you can afford FedEx, UPS, DHL, or any of thousands of messenger and courier services, you can use them as often as you wish.

When the government opens a day care center, no one shuts down your private day care or drags your babysitter or nanny from your home.

So why... WHY... would you so afraid of a public health care option for the needy? Why??

I Question the Fairness of This Photo Array from Law & Order: SVU

The Media Step on the Rake Again

Having just wasted a week on birthers, and a week on Cambridge, the media is now wasting a week on so-called deathers. Seriously? How does crap like this get covered? How do the media justify giving airtime to a claim so demonstrably, absolutely false?

I just saw some radio talk show host I've never heard of on Hardball. He made ridiculous claims about the health care bill that I won't dignify with repetition. Then the actual Congressman who wrote the provision came on to say the radio guy didn't know what he was talking about, the bill says nothing of the kind, and it's posted online so you can see for yourself.

Chris Matthews was equally aggressive with both. So much for his claim that he loves nailing people who don't tell the truth. So much for any reasonable definition of "hardball."

But here's the core question: How many segments like that have we seen on the news these past few years? On one side, a legitimate expert. On the other, a radio talk show host??

Since when are these two people equal? These radio talk show hosts are all failed deejays. Now they're conservative because that's where the money is. You think they actually believe the crap they spew?? They'll go to any market and do any format they can get. I'd call them whores, except whores are honest about what they do.

(And why are radio talk show hosts sought-after pundits, but actors and actresses should "shut up and stick to show business"? Does that make sense to anyone?)

If radio talk show hosts are qualified to argue the content of a bill with the actual author, who else is? Can my dentist debate, too? The counter guy at my 7-11? My handyman? My cat?

And a claim that is completely, obviously untrue gets a week of air time? Let's say some idiot in a tinfoil hat says Sarah Palin killed a child for sport, does he get to go on TV, too? Can he say, "This whole thing could be put to rest if Ms. Palin would only produce her police record"?

How crazy is too crazy for TV news?

30 Drunken Homers in Two Minutes

Just a Couple of Examples of Why Mika Brzezinski is an Idiot

Okay, so I swore off watching Morning Joe months ago and I've felt better for it. Also, after almost ten years of going to Starbucks pretty much every day, I stopped when they decided to become the title sponsor of that show. And it turns out I don't really miss Starbucks, which surprised me.

But this morning, when I flipped by MSNBC I saw Lawrence O'Donnell was on, so I had to stop and watch for a bit. (Seriously, MSNBC, give Lawrence O'Donnell his own show.) Hey, if O'Donnell is on and Scarborough isn't? I'll take a look.

It didn't take long for my blood pressure to rise, and I had to turn it off.

In the course of ten minutes or so, Mika, in her typical Red Queen fashion, imperiously turned up her nose at reality TV, fast food and Paris Hilton, among other things. As each was mentioned she called them things like stupid, a waste of time, disgusting, worthless, etc.

But whenever anyone said anything negative about Sarah Palin, she complained, "But she draws a crowd" or "Crowds come to see her." When O'Donnell pointed out some negative polling data, Mika simply bleated, "She draws crowds."

Don't insult or criticize Sarah Palin, was Mika's message, because there are a lot of people who like her.

Just to review, the hundreds who show up for her speeches validate Sarah Palin. The millions who, for example, watch reality TV? Worthless, according to Mika.

To top it off she kept saying, "What is William Shatner taking?" I suppose it was some crude form of "joke" but no one knew what she was talking about. Finally she managed to explain it: She watched him do the Palin bit on The Tonight Show, and thinks he was "high." I suppose on "reefer."

In other words, she didn't get Conan's and Shatner's joke. Her head is so far up her own ass she has totally missed Shatner's very funny bit all these years. The whole thing went over her head. But it didn't stop her from cackling at her own whimsy every time she said it.

What a friggin' imbecile.

Two Brilliant Takes on Palin's Gibberish: Conan, Shatner & Colbert

Great Mash-up: Coldplay vs. Michael Jackson, Beat It

iPhone 3GS Photos I Just Kinda Like

Today I got the feeling a Parking Enforcement officer was writing me a parking ticket, so I quickly took some pictures with my iPhone 3GS to prove my innocence, if necessary. (It's a long story... Suffice to say, if get a ticket -- my first ever, by the way -- I will make a Les Miserables-sized fuss.)

Anyway, none of that is why I'm here. I just thought the pictures look very vivid and pretty, and thought they show off what a surprisingly good camera is tucked inside this phone. So enjoy:

Ask For It By Name

From the Ikea website. I gotta say, the price is appealing.

First in a Series: Strange Things I Own

I've been doing my spring cleaning for about eight or nine years now, without much success. Especially because when I clean I get distracted by finding stuff that I initially bought or nabbed because, well, they were weird. So as I find some of them I'll share them with you.

First up: A doll I bought because it was, I thought, the scariest friggin' thing I've ever seen. I fully expect to wake up one night and find it skittering around the floor wielding a knife.

And what's really weird is that, according to the tag, the facial expression is considered a selling point. Whereas to me it's more of a rictus of terror... as if a little girl were screaming at the instant she was shrunken and transformed forever into a doll that would be frozen and silenced forever, but could still feel pain. But hey, that's me.

What???!! Fox & Friends on Racial Purity

If you get the chance to see The Soup this week, check it out. Joel McHale follows this clip with the perfect reaction. Really the only one possible: jaw-dropping astonishment.

I May Not Know Much About Economics, But I Still Know More than Tony Blankley

Let's say you play the same numbers every week in the Lotto. So I buy a ticket with your numbers for one dollar, then offer it to you for two dollars. After all, by next week it could be worth millions.

So you buy it. I made one dollar in profit, and you bought a chance at a fortune for only two dollars

Tony Blankley, like most Republicans, thinks that's "the free market at work." He thinks we just "created wealth."

Yes. But only for me. In a few days, you will almost certainly be stuck with a worthless slip of paper. Sure I doubled my money, but how many times will I be able to run this scam on you before you're fed up? And if I'm running this game to the tune of a hundred or a thousand tickets a week, won't I eventually run out of suckers?

Regulation of the financial industry doesn't hobble businesses, it protects them. From themselves.

Michael Jackson's Children: Anyone Ever See "Village of the Damned"?

When TV is Out of Order... Literally

Today Fox Reality Channel showed 40 minutes of one episode of Hell's Kitchen, then 20 minutes of another. Such a weird mistake, I couldn't believe things like this could still happen with todays technology. Which reminded me of NBC's legendary 1978 snafu, when part three of the Loose Change miniseries ran on night two. Here is the announcement that aired that night... awkward, to say the least.

At least NBC apologized. Fox Reality either didn't notice, or hoped we wouldn't.

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland

I was eager before, but these breathtaking photos only make the waiting more difficult.

(Yahoo Movies: Tim Burton Takes on Alice in Wonderland)

Trailer: The Invention of Lying

What a Good Time to Once Again Enjoy Stephen Colbert's Mark Sanford Interview

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Better Know a Governor - Mark Sanford
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Stephen Colbert in Iraq

Bob Hope, Bing Crosby and John Wayne Surprise Guest Host Don Rickles on the Tonight Show

Push Push In the Kush

I don't know why, but I feel like buying one of these for every woman I know. And for every woman I don't know. In fact, if they'll keep running this commercial, I promise to just keep buying this incredibly important product.

Jimmy Fallon Makes Me Laugh, Both Accidentally and On Purpose

First is Jimmy asking if we can help Clay Aiken and Adam Lambert "squash their beef" (!) And yes, I do have a junior high school mentality.

And below that, the very, very funny "Let Us Play With Your Look" co-starring Will Ferrell. I warn you, though, the song is a total Ceti eel (or "earworm" as Stephen King calls them).

Later in that same episode, by the way, Kyra Sedgwick's segment (and Will Ferrell's participation) was a reminder of how great talk shows can be when guests move down the couch instead of fleeing after their plug is done.

Aretha Franklin: Nessun Dorma (1998)

I was telling a friend about this, one of the most exciting performances I've ever seen on TV, and decided what the heck, I'll post it here. Along with, of course, the thrilling (and final) performance by Pavarotti himself. Enjoy.

Amazing: A Great Bluetooth Speakerphone

I have tried every bluetooth implement known to man. Even the ones that everyone else loves, best among them the Samsung, Jawbone and BlueAnt. And they're all fine, up to a point. Some easier to keep paired than others, some more comfortable than others, some louder than others, some better voice quality than others. All have drawbacks that, for me, offset any advantages.

The Contour SurfaceSound Compact Bluetooth Speakerphone is different. Pairing it is a painless process, and it's a slim unit that clips to the visor in your car. That's it, you're set. The mic arm folds up to power the unit off. If the phone rings, swing the arm down and the unit automatically connects with your phone and answers. And the speaker is fantastically, wonderfully loud (unlike, say, the iPhone's built-in speakerphone). You'd think the mic being so near the speaker would result in echo, but the cancellation works perfectly.

It charges with a proprietary cable, which is irksome... but it's a USB cable, which is always nice, since you can use your laptop when an outlet isn't handy. At a street price of $59.99, it's priced in the high end for this category, but even at that price it's still cheaper than all the $20 and $30 headsets and speakers sitting in my drawer. In fact, it's so good that when I get out of the car I bring it inside and clip it to a lamp in my office.

If you decide to buy it, it would be great if you use the link below. As with all Amazon purchases you launch from this blog, my cut goes to the Humane Society and the ASPCA.