I am finally getting to catch up on my backlog of recorded America's Next Top Model, and I am reminded of my least favorite aspect of the show: the process by which it takes beautiful, crazy-hot women like Ashley, above, and smears their faces with hideous, multicolored schmutz in an attempt to render them unlovable (see below). It is high time that straight men picked up torches and slingshots and took the fashion industry back from ugly women and gay men. These evildoers have been allowed to poochify our babes for too long.
Hotness is our most precious natural resource. It's a tragedy to waste it.