Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Commercial Questions

So the Earthlink commercials? Showing the office is staffed with freaks and mutants and sideshow attractions? Is this why the customer service was so awful when I was with them? Does Earthlink think this will actually appeal to customers? Isn't this like the ultimate outsourcing? If Americans don't want to talk to foreigners, they definitely don't want to talk to ogres and trolls.

After all these years, I still don't understand the IBM commercials where people explain business concepts at lunch counters. Or I think that's what they're doing. But then again, I still don't understand why the people in the Microsoft Office ads are wearing dinosaur heads.

You know the Philadelphia Cream Cheese commercials? Where the girl is the angel, sitting on the cloud? And she says the great thing about being "up here" is that she gets all the heavenly Philadelphia Cream Cheese she wants? Um... Did no one point out to the Philly Cream Cheese people that their spokesmodel is a dead girl?! And a really young dead girl, too. So we're probably talking about a car accident, or a drug overdose or something. Or maybe a murder. Maybe at a convenience store. During a holdup. While she was buying cream cheese! Whoa...

You know the Tic-Tac ad where the pretty girl is waiting for an elevator, and she pops three or four Tic-Tacs in her mouth, then she starts actually juggling them with her tongue? And she's really juggling them? And the door opens, and this guy sees her, and he gets this goofy smile? Okay, is it me, or is he smiling because he sees a hot girl who can juggle Tic-Tacs with her tongue? If you get my meaning. And she smiles back... why? Is this an Axe Body Spray commercial in disguise?

You know those Dove "real women"? "Real women" who look like "real women"? Yeah... Do any of the "real women" you know look like that? Dove has convinced millions of cubicle-dwelling, Oprah-loving women that that is what they look like in their bras and panties. Well-played, Dove. Bravo.

No comments: