Thursday, December 08, 2005

Wait... Let Me Be Part of The Solution...

Let it never be said that I'm not about helping.

So I'm going to be positive. And I'm going to offer an answer! This is the solution to the whole problem for Brent Bozell and all his pals, and it will make them a billion dollars, and I'm giving it to them for free.


They start their own satellite service, offering nothing but family-friendly, child-safe, decent programming.

Hallmark Channel, Nick (during the day only), Fox News, Noggin, Poggin, Woggin, Zoggin, whatever else those people like to watch and don't complain about.

There's such a huge outcry for it, right? So many Americans want it, right? So they start their own service and make a mint.

What's that? They're not doing it?

You know why?

Because no one wants that.

No one's going to subscribe to a service that doesn't offer HBO and FX and MTV and USA and Bravo and Skinemax and Spice and all that other stuff. That's why Howard Stern gets a $500 million dollar contract.

So next time Brent goes to Congress with a list of demands, they should tell him to go fuck himself. And if they don't, we should tell them to go fuck themselves the next time they run for reelection.

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