Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Random Thoughts While Watching American Idol

Katharine may not have been at her best, but I didn't care. She manages to be super-talented, super-sweet, and super-smoking all at once. Besides, I could have watched that footage of her and Kellie playing in their bedroom all night long.

That Netflix commercial has a guy doing the least convincing harpsichord miming I've ever seen. And trust me, I've seen a lot of harpischord miming.

Kinnik being forced to sit next to Ryan and Katharine is just cruel. She looks like if
Cocoon were a western.

Lisa was good, but completely soulless. She used about one-twentieth of her energy. You get the sense she could have easily decorated a cake and built a house of cards while she sang.

Melissa was sensational, but her outfit was so awful it was distracting. And this after her interview was about her clothes. Also, whoever talked her into those highlights is not her friend.

Heather's eye makeup was supposed to say, "I'm sexy and sultry." Instead it said, "I need to get to a shelter, but he swears he'll change." Fortunately I looked nowhere near her eyes.

I would have given anything for Dick Cheney to have been hunting nearby while Brenna was singing. Failing that, just give me five minutes alone with her and a baseball bat. I won't waste a second.

Besides, her song was really like random bits and pieces of the song glued together, then sung flat. She sucks. Sucks hard.

Also, I blame Whitney Houston for making every bad girl singer feel like she should tap her fingers on the mike in time to the music. Except Brenna was tapping her fingers
out of time to the music. Because she sucks. Hard.

Paris is loathsome. I know I'm supposed to find her adorable, but I despise her.

Ayla is
muy fantastico.

Kellie is sweet as heck but a little dull. Girl sure can sing, though. What was weird was she kept hiding her hand behind her back, like someone had warned her not to gesture.

Whoever the actor is in the "This is life" Ford Fusion commercial in the shoe store is awesome. But not as awesome as Gisele in the Victoria's Secret commercial.

The War At Home is still on, but Arrested Development isn't? Are you kidding me?

Mandisa kicks ass. Brenna sucks hard.


Boski93 said...

I am just afriad that nextflix commerical is just going to give the wrong message about harpiscording.

gina said...

Mike, I thought of you when they showed Katharine and Kellie romping around on the bed. LOL, now that sounds bad.

When the Netflix ad came on, my sister Sheila asked, "So, ya think he's really playing that thing?"

Michael Markowitz said...

Sheila might well have asked the same question about me during the Katharine/Kellie romp. :-)

Ken Levine said...

GREAT post, Mike. Maybe the reason I loathe Brenna with every fiber of my being is that to me she symbolizes every Republican and how how they feel about America.

Paul Israelson said...

Ken Levine obviously doesn't know many Republicans.

I found Brenna loathesome, as did all of my Republican friends.

Perhaps Mr. Levine should get to know a few Republicans before he makes such stupid generalizations.

Michael Markowitz said...

If there is one thing I am happy about it is that FINALLY there is something that brings us all -- red stater and blue stater -- together! Who knew? Turns out Brenna is a uniter, not a divider!

If only there were a legal 9,500 Mornings After Pill we could give her.

Paul Israelson said...

American Idol -- the "Great Communicator" and the "Unifi-cator" (Will Farrell as W) all rolled into one package! :D

Michael Markowitz said...

LOL! In honor of Will's W, we should go to Chi-Chi's, his favorite restaurant!

Enjoy the show tonight.