Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Who Ya Gonna Call?

So yesterday the hags of The View were supposed to have as their guests Jenna Elfman and Naveen Andrews, but obviously no person in their right mind is going to tunnel through seventeen-foot-tall snow banks just for a few minutes of cheap plugola.

Enter last-minute-sub Kathie Lee Gifford.

Does she have a Batpole to that studio? Or do they keep her in a glass case with an axe next to it?

With Kathie Lee Gifford on The View, I have never prayed so hard for a meteor shower in my whole life.

Anyway, next time you're on line at the checkout stand, leaf through the trash mags and look for the new "Got Milk" ad with the View-lociraptors.

First, because just looking at the ad can make you choke on the clouds of makeup and hairspray coming off it.

And second, because too much dairy really isn't good for you, and seeing it dripping off their cakey lips will put you off milk for life.

2 comments:

Ellen said...

Oh man!
I was just flipping through one of my magazines and actually gasped out loud when I saw that milk ad.

Okay...hearing the name Kathie Lee Gifford is right up there with that hobby I abhor.

Every so often I subject myself to ET, to see what Mary and Mark are screaming about. How the heck did that show get so "yelly"?

So I kept the TV on and watched "The Insider." What is the purpose of that show? Most of the stories are exactly what ET just showed. And with the addition of KLG, it's just disgusting.

Did you ever notice that Kath always manages to sneak in a little singing? She must be stopped.

Too bad our tv's don't have a junk filter like our email programs do.

Michael Markowitz said...

Kathie Lee can't be stopped. Silver bullets and stakes can't stop her.

I had to give up watching all those shows because of all the screaming, especially the screeching graphics. What's odd is that MTV and VH-1 don't have screeching graphics, but ET and Fox News and the Today Show do.

If I do watch one, it's Access Hollywood, for the delicious double shot of Nancy O'Dell and Maria Menounos... but then there is Billy Bush, proving that every sunny day has a cloud.