Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Whole New World


This morning, Republican gadfly and professional ooze trail Mary Matalin was on The Today Show
and she smirked that there didn't seem to be any outcry about Cheney's behavior after the shooting... that the American people seemed satisfied with his explanation.

Well, I'm putting it in writing: I'm not satisfied.

I'm outcrying.

The media is focusing, as they will, on why they weren't told sooner. Hey, I'm for whatever gets them off their asses.

I can't imagine why they're not focused on why the President wasn't told sooner, but I suppose he's seldom told anything that might upset him.

No, the thing I can't believe no one is outraged about is the fact that Cheney shot a guy and didn't report it to the police until 18 hours later.

Out of respect for the family?

Huh?

I'd love to see you or I try that.

Can you imagine how different, say, Tobias Beecher's life might have turned out if he had waited 18 hours after hittting that little girl with his car before turning himself in?

When they asked him if he'd been drinking he could have said, "Oh, I had a beer with lunch, but no, not really." And the police would have noted that and thanked him for waiting to come in... such respect for the family!

Then they all would have gone out to Beecher's trunk and gotten the little girl's body, and then Toby could have gone home to his wife and kids.

See? It's a fictional example, but thanks to the Vice President, we now live in a whole new world. You no longer have to report crimes or accidents or mishaps until... oh... whenever.

You no longer have to submit to prompt questioning or blood alcohol exams. Just pop by the station a day or so later, whenever you feel it's dignified, and straighten it all out.

Thanks, Dick!

5 comments:

Max Koch said...

I wish to sincerely thank you for incorporating Toby Beecher's unfortunate sitch within this most potent lament.

Michael Markowitz said...

You're most welcome, Max. It is my fervent hope that sometime within the near future someone tattoos a swastika on Cheney's ass.

Russell Arch said...

Pretty soon Cheney (and company) will claim that it's a waste of time to even report these accidents at all.

They're CHASING TERRORISTS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. They can't be expected to report every little shooting they get involved in.

Boski93 said...

What makes you think he doesn't already has one.

Michael Markowitz said...

Russ & bosk, LOL

And yes, bosk, but it's backwards because he did it in a mirror