Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The Bucky Stops Here

On Idol tonight, Bucky was so awful that he should be packing his bandana-on-a-stick now.

In a just world, Taylor, Lisa, and Ace would be going, too. I can't even hate Kevin as much as I hated Ace. Ace must have sounded really different in the studio, because on TV he sounded like the suck.

Chris and Katharine were, I thought, awesome. And Barry Manilow so improved Elliott in one short lesson it was miraculous. It's easy to see why Barry got the big musical director bucks.

Paris still gives me the creeps. She looks like someone left a human being in the dryer too long.

And, waiter, I'll have what Paula was having.

4 comments:

Mr. Jones said...

Oy! Okay, here's the latest installment in our ongoing segment, "Idol Chatter." Could NOT agree more about that Ace idiot. He has GOT to go. And Lisa, too. Hideous. Nothing. Zero. She always seems to be coming at the song from three days ago, trying to catch up to the music. Horrid.

As for Katharine, much as I adore you, I will never understand your appreciation of her. I finally hit on the word for her as I was cringing on my sofa last night: Smarmy. And the braless boob jiggling? Shameless! Honestly, she makes me want to commit seppaku. She'll probably win, and then I'll have no choice.

I guess I can understand why you hate Taylor, but I really think he's talented. Even though I could've seriously done without the jumping jacks and running all over the place. Still, he's genuine in a way Katharine McMee can only approximate. So I like him.

And Paris, Paris, Paris. You have to admit, she's got major chops. She, unlike my nemesis KM, INTERPRETS her songs. She seems to love MAKING music, and she is a real artist as opposed to just a pageant contestant. Sure, she's a little dwarfy, but her voice has character. I think she's groovy.

Can you believe how seriously I take this, by the way? Sad, isn't it?

Paula has some kind of crazy bipolar problem, I swear it. She's out of her mind. Period. End of diskush.

My mission to change your mind about Katharine McMidnightshowattheflamingo is in full swing here, my friend. I am determined! Determined!

Sincerely,
The Roeper to your Ebert

Michael Markowitz said...

Hey, MJ,

Re: Ebert & Roeper, as long as I'm the one with the Pulitzer that's fine with me.

Paris, to me, IS a pageant contestant... but in the Jon-Benet sense. Ootsie-cutesie spooky creepy.

And the day I come down against braless boob jiggling is the day they put me in the grave.

And the reason we take this seriously is that, unlike in Presidential elections, in American Idol our vote counts.

gina said...

I agree, Barry was awesome. He's a guilty pleasure in our family, especially since we grew up in the 70s.

I thought Ace sounded like ass, too. I have a wicked girl crush on Katharine, so I'm with on that one, but Chris has me on the fence. He takes himself way too seriously. As far as Taylor goes, well, we can agree to disagree ;).

It just amazes me that they let Paula onstage in that condition!

Michael Markowitz said...

I can say, with more than a hint of the "guilt" that goes into the "guilty pleasure" that I was at two of the concerts recorded for the original "Barry Manilow Live" album back in the day. Geek alert. It's a long way from Barry to Fall Out Boy, but I still like a little Manilow when no one's looking.

And yes, we will agree to disagree on Taylor. For your sake, I hope he does very well, and steps all over Lisa and the Munchkin on his way to the Final Four.

As for your girl crush on Katharine, I'm with you. Except for the girl part. I had double-sided tape dreams last night.

And Paula's condition... yeah... I pray she didn't drive herself. And now of course I know not to fly on the same plane as she.