Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Idol Threat

Such a night. Seems so simple. Sing a song from the last six years. They're all young. They must have favorite songs, right? Oh, well...

Lisa
It was awful. Terrible. Dreadful. So sharp throughout I held a shark steak up to the TV for slicing. And when will people learn that what sounds great in that room sounds AWFUL on TV?

Kellie
Simon right again. WTF with that song? I thought the same thing: Of all the songs of the last six years, that's the one she picks? It sounded like something rejected by the Country Bear Jamboree.

Ace & Taylor
Couldn't hear either one with my head in the oven. Both were so boring there were times during these performances I was afraid I'd never feel pleasure again. (Also, for you Seinfeld fans: Ace's hair looked like Jerry's and Kramer's when they got low-flow showerheads.)

Mandisa
This is the song that should be played during a Starsky & Hutch car chase. Hardly a 21st Century choice. But then again, last year "Vehicle Man" wasn't a disco song.

Chris
Creed? Creed, Chris? Oh, God, no.

Katharine
Something's in the air when even Katharine's pitch is nutty at the beginning. She gets it back, though, and is effortlessly great... albeit on the blandest song imaginable. Extra points for looking hot in that harlequin suit.

Bucky
Are you telling me we actually fought a war to keep people like this in the Union? Oy... Anyway, my head was back in the oven. Put chicken wire around him and this could have been open mic night at Bob's Country Bunker.

Paris
Simon's right: On stage, she was a little girl dressed up as Beyonce. (In her interview, she was a little girl dressed up as Ya Kid K.)

Elliott
Kicked ass, despite the imaginary record he was scratching.

2 comments:

gina said...

Wasn't that the stinkiest stink that ever stunk?

Michael Markowitz said...

Stink bomb. And like I say, you would think songs of the 21st Century would be the BEST night!

The arrangements and sound were even off. Even Kellie's hair and makeup were weird. Only Simon and Elliott were spot-on.