Saturday, April 15, 2006

My Three Respiratory Easter Wishes

1. That Mary Louise Parker will finally blow her nose and be able to speak normally.

2. That Ann Coulter will finally hock up that lump of mucus in her throat.

3. That poor Rita Cosby will stop choking on whatever the hell it is she's choking on.


norm said...

I don't think Ann Coulter's voice sounds that way because of mucus.
She has more of a constrained, strangled sound.
I would attribute this to the phsychic effects of millions of people desperatly wishing they could choke the life out of her.

Until she changes her ways and atones for her crimes against reason, I'm afraid she'll continue to sound like a frog.

norm said...

Um... "psychic"

Too bad there's not a spell checker for these comments...

(Or too bad I can't spell worth a darn without a spell checker)

Sean Tisdall said...

At any rate that has to be the least vitriolic complaint about Ann Coulter... Now I have to listen to Air America Online. I hope you're happy Michael.

gina said...

I have no idea what Ann Coulter's voice sounds like since I go out of my way to not listen to her, and I'm not sure if I know who Rita Cosby is, but you get a big HELL YEAH from me on MLP!

Anonymous said...

What's with Rita and that deep-ass voice? Who hired her?!

Michael Markowitz said...

Sean, make no mistake: I am full of vitriol re: AC. In fact, I'm sure if they pull out the mucus it will be full of cancer, herpes and Dutch Elm Disease. That or Norm's psychic rot.

gina, trust me (and anonymous), Rita has one deep-ass, choking voice. When you hear her, the first thing you think is, "Well, clearly, a career in broadcasting is ruled out." And yet, there she is, on TV.

She also has a TERRIBLE habit of trumpeting "exclusives" that appeared on the shows before hers, proving that she wasn't watching her own network. I was watching Hardball one night, and Chris made reference to something in the 9/11 reports in the first half of the show, and then she was on the panel in the second half, and made reference to a "tip" she had received from a source... yep, the same fact.