Friday, July 14, 2006

Big Brother & Project Runway (SPOILERS)

First of all, I despise BB7's Alison more than I can say, so thank goodness and goodbye to her janky ass.

But will someone out there please explain why everyone admires Danielle so much? If I am remembering correctly -- and I admit I may not be -- Danielle is the reason they now sequester the jury. She was so arrogant in the diary room, so stupid and such a bully in her gloating after each eviction, that she alienated each and every person voted out of the house.

She screwed each person on the way out the door, and then gave them an extra kick in the ass after they left. And then she wanted them to vote for her? And she's still doing it!! Why do they all think she's such a brilliant player? Janelle is, without question, the greatest player in BB history. (Though Will has a special place in reality show history for being the first person on television to brazenly lie his way to victory.)

I want Danielle out next. Then I can focus my rage on Project Runway's obnoxious trio of Angela, Malan and the guy with the Declaration of Independence on his neck (and, presumably, a treasure map on his ass).

By the way, does it occur to anyone else that Malan has a lot of attitude for a guy who lives in Long Island City?

And as for Angela, in the first hour I wanted to hit her in the face with a shovel before she finally pronounced the second "o" in "Ohio."


Ellen said...

I missed some seasons of BB, so I don't know many of the player's backgrounds. Now that I recall, I did catch the end of the season Alison was on and I couldn't stand her. Glad she left. My daughter and I were watching last night and my daughter thought Ali's new doctor boyfriend seemed like an actor.

My daughter has also got me into Project Runway for the first time. I am hooked already. That first challenge was really something.
I'll know all the player's names soon, but that guy with all the ink has gotta go!

Michael Markowitz said...

Project Runway, to me, is astonishing. It is remarkable to me that anyone could turn cloth into clothing, much less barstool seats and light fixtures. If only some of the designers weren't so creepy, I'd respect their alchemy more.

I think Sydelle Pearl, if she's reading, will probably agree with me: The woman with five children is clownlike in her skin-crawliness (as well as her makeup choices; she seems to have slept face-to-face in Lucille Ball's coffin).

And rule-of-thumb, ladies: If you have no cleavage, it is a bad idea to wear decolletage. Further, if it appears that your that your breasts are not speaking to one another, so that your nipples are farther apart than your ears, wear as many clothes as possible to spare us involvement in the tift.

By the way, for those of you wondering about snooty snootington and his phony Arthur Treacher by way of Serrrrrge accent and his feng shui, and why it all seems a little much for someone who lives in Long Island City...

If you are not from the New York area, Long Island City is where Tom Hanks worked in the beginning of Joe Vs. the Volcano. Exaggerated, to be sure, but still, not a place known for its feng shui.

And now to Alison, I'm afraid your daughter is mistaken. Not only because BB is famously honest (after all, the audience watches and participates in the entire process, so what can be fudged?), but because with all the hours of television time Alison has logged between BB and Amazing Race, demonstrating what a psycho bitch manipulator she is, only a real doctor would have the ego to think he could change her. This guy's balls are in a jar within a month.

I can't wait for tonight. By the way, you're just lucky Ivette and April didn't get back into the house. They were the monsters from last season. April wanted to get a K-Mart spokesperson job out of the show. Calling Americans "fucking pieces of shit" for liking Janelle and hating her pretty much sealed that deal. I'd be surprised if K-Mart lets her SHOP there.

And Ivette actually blames the crowd she fell in with. If they ever release Season 6 on DVD, it's really worth watching. Unbelievable psychological study. It's like the 7, 14, 21, Up films, all in one summer.

mai wen said...

Uh, just curious, how can Janelle be the greatest BB player of all time IF SHE DIDN'T WIN THE MONEY??? I couldn't stand Janelle and it drives me nuts that fans seemed to love her. She was a complete bitch, idiotic with no morals and she looked like a hooker. It's sad people are rooting for the hookers over the intelligent decent people now-a-days.

Oh, agree with you on Milan though, such a pretentious guy. Did you see in the "Road up to Project Runway" that he'd auditioned two prior times and actually got in for last season but then he turned them down? He'll be interesting to see. Also, tatoo neck is quite annoying. I swear, the most cocky folks always seem to get knocked down rather quickly! You gotta love it. I can see the winner of the challenge (is his name Dave, I forget already) becoming an attitude problem...

Michael Markowitz said...

Uh, just curious, but how can you say that winning the money is the only criterion for what makes a great player? The Fiendship swore to get her out of the house, they made that their only mission, and for two months she fought them off like Jackie Chan. Finally, she went from Dead Girl Walking to getting herself into position to win... if only Ivette hadn't played counter to her own best interests and blown it.

As for being an idiot, she won nearly ever mental and memory challenge handily. Looking like a hooker? Having no morals? That's what April said from behind her own giant implants. Women don't like girls like Janelle and Erika. I think both are sweet and genuine no matter what they look like.

Meanwhile Diane and Alison and Danielle have no morals whatsoever. So bust size is not an indicator.