Monday, November 06, 2006

Lame Excuses, Alibis and Whoppers

In the past, Ann Coulter has explained why she had two driver's licenses with two different birthdays on them -- one of which would have made her too young to vote when she did -- by saying, "I'm a girl."


Now Coulter is refusing to participate in an investigation into whether she committed felony voter fraud on another occasion. Her excuse? She and her lawyer will only answer questions by phone or in person, not in writing.


In honor of the cadaverous and adam's-apple-tastic Ms. Coulter, here are my nominees for the dozen worst excuses, alibis and whoppers of recent history. Please feel free to chime in with others I've forgotten. Surely there are many.

12. Anything written by Earl Dittman

11. TIE: I didn't have gay sex, it was just a massage/Yes, I did buy meth, but I threw it away immediately.

10. TIE: We will be greeted as liberators/Iraq is going remarkably well/The war will pay for itself.

9. I know I'm Speaker of the House, but I can't be expected to know what everyone else in Congress knew!

8. I did molest pages, but it's not my fault: I was drunk.

7. Stopping Parkinson's medication makes you shake.

6. In the sentence "You get stuck in Iraq" where would the word "us" even go?!

I will fire anyone shown to have leaked CIA information to the press.

4. I couldn't have shot my wife: I was getting my gun at the time.

3. I was never "Stay the course"

No one ever said Iraq and 9/11 were connected.

1. Mission Accomplished

1 comment:

Boski93 said...

What about, "no I was not drinking before I went out shooting this afternoon."