Friday, January 19, 2007

Those Poor Kids Auditioning for American Idol

There's a lot of Idol-sniping and tsk-tsk-ing in the media. "The judges are too mean." "Those poor kids." "Why do the judges have to be so cruel?"

Do I feel bad for those auditioners?

Hell to the no.

If they went on Ellen and Ellen started to make fun of them, I'd feel bad. If they went on Rachael Ray and Rachael threw taunts at them, I'd write a letter. Because both of those would be an ambush.

But this is the sixth season of American Idol. I mean, seriously... How can you not know what that room is going to be like?

If you are going to audition for Idol, you have to first ask yourself three questions:

1. Am I absolutely certain I don't suck?
2. Seriously now, no kidding: I really don't suck?
3. If I do suck, am I going to be okay with what will happen to me?

(There's an optional fourth question, but only if your friends call you "The Hotness": Am I sure they are really my friends?)

Look, I don't think it's necessary to make fun of, say, the size of someone's eyes. Especially when there's so much to legitimately mock in his singing and dancing. But I don't blame Simon, because I can't promise that I could sit through eight hours of listening to delusional wackos without getting incredibly pissed off that they don't own mirrors or tape recorders.

No one wants to squash someone's dream, but wouldn't it be more cruel to feed their delusions?

Besides, it was worth sitting through all those losers to get to brother-and-sister Sanjaya
and Shyamali Malakar. These may be the two most adorable people in television history.

1 comment:

Ellen said...

Obviously they include those delusional folks for our entertainment. Sure I laugh at the nuts, but sometimes I get a little sad seeing how the parents egg their talentless kids on.

I agree they shouldn't make fun of how someone looks, especially when it's obviously due to some kind of syndrome.

Did you see a different side of Simon this time around? He seemed genuinely sorry in some cases, and tried to let the delusional gals down easy.

And yes, the brother and sister were adorable. Can't wait to see what happens in Hollywood!