Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Integrity, Patriotism and Honor... Right Wing Style

Bill Orally did the funniest thing last night. And by "funny" I mean "tragic" and "horrifying."

Discussing the Irving Libby verdict, Bill kept asking his guests how someone could be guilty of perjury when "there was no underlying crime." Bill maintains that if Fitzgerald had proof that Valerie Plame was a covert agent, he would have charged Libby with the full Monty, and that failing to do so somehow gives everyone involved... I don't know... license to lie?

No matter how many times his guests tried to impress upon Bill the moral and legal importance of telling the truth, Bill could not be swayed. At the end of the interview he seemed even more exasperated than usual. So for future reference: until there is proof a crime has been committed, you cannot count on Bill O'Reilly to tell the truth, even under oath. Good to know.

Now, to The View. If I told you one of the View-lociraptors disparaged our troops, you'd think Rosie, right? Maybe Joy?

But no.

The other day, Elisabeth Shitheadbeck said something so astonishingly stupid that even the stick up her ass must have done a double-take. The others didn't hear her, because she said it under her breath (where she says her oh-so-stupidest things).

If you've seen the show, you know the tone of voice I'm talking about. Someone has just said something that makes Elisabeth soooooo mad, and you can tell her ears are burning hot, and she looks down at the table and plays with her coffee mug, and says something unbelievably untrue in a soft monotonous voice. Usually something she heard on Fox News, where she gets all her information on news and living and thinking and breathing. (This morning she said Hannity & Colmes always presents all sides, so that's where she's coming from.)

Anyhoo, back to the other day. In discussing the shameful neglect at Walter Reed, Rosie or Joy made reference to the undeniable, accepted fact that our troops were sent into battle with insufficient body armor.

And Lis murmured something into her coffee... something like, "Welllll, actually the troops were all given body armor, but many chose not to wear it because it was too heavy."

Cut to: me doing a spit take.

Did I just hear Elisabeth Coozelbeck blaming the troops for their own casualties? Did I actually hear her imply that American soldiers would have died in lesser numbers if they just hadn't been so "lazy"?

How can she possibly look at her rancid self in the mirror? And can you imagine what would have happened if Rosie had said that?

And then on to the Administration itself, appointing a bipartisan commission to investigate conditions at Walter Reed. Didn't the Washington Post already investigate those conditions? For four months? With photos? And didn't Congress just interview witnesses?

Investigation done!

Here's my idea: Let's take every member of our armed forces who's receiving less than the best and put them, right now, into the finest hospitals in America. I once had surgery at Cedars and was fortunate enough to be put in the VIP wing, which was about as plush as you can imagine. Let's put our troops there.

And if there's no room in Cedars and Johns Hopkins and so on, then let's put them two-in-a-room at the Four Seasons. Rent a couple of floors at the Four Seasons in each town, and put doctors and nurses on each floor.

How much could it possibly cost? Considering that the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq misplaced nine billion dollars, and nobody in the administration is looking for it, I'm fairly certain they have enough loose money to get our bravest whatever they need before the investigation is done.

These men and women have made the ultimate sacrifice for their country. It would be ironic if Dick Cheney, the man who put them in harm's way for his own nefarious reasons, received a higher standard of medical care.

1 comment:

norm said...

"Bill kept asking his guests how someone could be guilty of perjury when "there was no underlying crime."
You mean like lying about getting a legal blow job?
Am I missing something?