Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Thin, Red-State Line

In a comment, Norm brought up the line between what's personal and what's fair game. I've been jotting these down for a long time, so I've seen for myself that it is a clearly-defined line. Some examples:

Katie's decision to keep working while her husband and sister were dying? Newt Gingrich cheating on his stricken wife and serving her divorce papers in the hospital? Personal.

John and Elizabeth Edwards? Fair game.

Bush's top domestic advisor arrested for shoplifting from Target? Laura Bush killing a guy? Dick Cheney shooting an old man in the face? Could happen to anyone.

Hillary Clinton's friend Vincent Foster killing himself? Clearly she murdered him, and even if she probably didn't let's investigate anyway.

Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich and Bob Dole and Rudy Giuliani and GHW Bush and Helen Chenoweth and Henry Hyde and Bob Barr and Strom Thurmond and Bob Dornan and Ronald Reagan and Dan Burton cheating on their spouses? Personal.

Everything Bill Clinton does, real or imaginary? Fair game.

Fox News making up stories about Barack Obama? A simple mistake.

CBS News failing to properly authenticate a document about George W. Bush's failure to report for service? A document that, while inauthentic, was nonetheless accurate in every fact? Everyone involved must be fired!

Speaking of which, George W. Bush failing to report for service? Lies and, even if true, ancient history.

War heroes John Kerry's and Dan Murtha's "cowardice"? War hero Max Cleland's "ties to terrorists"? Fair game.

George W. Bush's utter failure to even pretend to have a domestic agenda -- except for a cruel bankruptcy law -- and the crashing-and-burning of his much-publicized, ludicrous Social Security and immigration "reforms"? His nonexistent alternative energy program? Where's the cars that run on wheatgrass? And aren't we supposed to be going to Mars? Hey, c'mon, you can't expect the man to bat a thousand!

Hillary Clinton's health care reform? A black mark to this day.

Strom Thurmond's record on race? Leave the old guy alone.

Bob Byrd's? Calls his integrity and character into question.

Bill O' Reilly's sleazy harassment? Nancy Reagan's being pregnant at her wedding? Personal.

The Arkansas state troopers' smears on Bill Clinton? Ann Coulter's claims that Bill Clinton is gay, and masturbated into White House sinks? So what if they all proved untrue, it's not the facts that count.

Mentioning Ronald Reagan's obviously-declining mental faculties in the debates? Wondering aloud about the extent of George W. Bush's obvious learning impairment? How dare you?!

John Kerry and Al Gore speak slowly? They must be stupid.

Bill O'Reilly calling everyone who disagrees with him a "pinhead" or a "Kool-Aid drinker"? Hey, he calls 'em like he sees 'em, for the good of the folks.

Bill Maher calling Bush a rube and a dolt? Why sink to name-calling?

McCain says the war is a waste of our troops' lives? Eh, you know what he meant.

Obama says the war is a waste of our troops' lives? HOW DARE HE?!

The Bush Twins' public drunkenness and arrest record? Personal.

The fact that Chelsea Clinton was once photographed at a fashion show with a drink and a cigarette? Fair game.

Newt Gingrich's weight? Personal.

Al Gore's weight? "Hilarious."

Questioning the President's integrity, motives and war plan when our troops are in harm's way in Bosnia? "Patriotism and healthy debate."

Questioning the president's integrity, motives and war plan when our troops are in harm's way in Iraq? "Aid and comfort to the enemy."

Lying to Congress? To reporters? To the American people? Faking evidence to justify an illegal invasion? "Losing" nine billion dollars in Iraq? Halliburton knowingly giving infected drinking water to our troops? The Defense Department deliberately passing up vehicles that would save our soldiers' lives in favor of inferior vehicles made by cronies? Bush and Cheney refusing to testify under oath to the 9/11 Commission? Rove and Meiers refusing to testify under oath to Congress? Firing U.S. Attorneys for political reasons, then covering it up? "I don't see a crime here." "Where's the harm? Where's the crime?"

Whitewater, a petty Arkansas land deal? "We need TWO Special Prosecutors!"

The Bush Twins being "asked to leave" Argentina?
Colin Powell knowingly lying to the UN? Bush on tape groping the German Chancellor? Cheney telling Sen. Leahy to "go fuck yourself" in the Senate chambers? Bush, his mouth full, calling out "Yo, Blair" and using the word "shit"? Don't make a big deal out of it.

Natalie Maines stating her opinion in England? An embarrassment on the world stage!

George W. Bush stopping our troops from catching Osama Bin Laden. Eh, Osama's not really important in the scheme of things, he's seldom on the president's mind.

Bill Clinton's failure to kill Osama? A grotesque failure. Besides the whole attempt was clearly a "wag the dog" and should be criticized. While our troops were in harm's way.

Outing a covert CIA agent tasked to Korean WMD's for political reasons? Is it really technically "illegal"?

Sandy Berger absentmindedly taking documents from the National Archive, that were so non-sensitive he already had copies of them? Treason!

Karl Rove: "Senator, would you define 'know' for me?" John McCain: "Depends on what the definition of 'negligent' is'" Nothing wrong with that.

Clinton: "Depends on what the meaning of the word" is" is." SLEAZEBAG PERJURY!

Liars Caspar Weinberger, Elliot Abrams, John Poindexter, all pardoned? Oliver North, a convicted liar and felon, pardoned so he could become a celebrity and lecture all of us on morality and integrity? What's the problem?

Susan McDougal sent to federal prison for contempt because she refused to give testimony that she knew to be untrue? Listen, you gotta break a few eggs...

Firing eight U.S. Attorneys for political reasons? The president has every right to do that.

Firing seven White House Travel Office employees for political reasons? We need a Special Prosecutor!

An irrational hysteria is whipped up over the avian flu and the millions it will kill? And Tamiflu, a treatment of questionable value, is nonetheless stockpiled by the government and the international community and demand far exceeds production? And the Chairman of the Board of the company that developed Tamiflu was, until 2001, Donald Rumsfeld?

Er... Did we mention that Barack Obama smokes?

Bush and Cheney repeatedly claiming and/or implying a link between Sadaam and 9/11, every now and then denying they ever said any such thing? Cheney publicly claiming we'd found Iraqi chemical weapons labs for over a year after he received proof it wasn't true? Cheney and Bush lie about the yellowcake though the CIA told them it wasn't true, then Cheney blames the CIA for giving him bad intel? Then they give a Medal of Freedom to the Director of the CIA? You're making a lot of connections here, you must be mistaken.

Al Gore saying he "invented the Internet"? The man's a liar! (And, of course, he never really said that. He said he "took the initiative in creating the Internet"... which is undeniably true. The fake quote was a lie by -- wait for it -- George W. Bush. )

Wait, are you saying Bush lied? You're making lot of connections here, you must be mistaken. And Obama's name sounds like "Osama." And he smokes.

You get the pattern, right?

1 comment:

Boski93 said...

Preach my good man!