Monday, April 23, 2007

Let's Start Another Thread for TV Non-Musical Phrases I Never Want to Hear Again

Just a few, off the top of my head:

"Jag-yoo-wah"

"Doppler radar"

"Meredith, what's wrong?"

"My best friend Gayle and I..."

"Either we leave this basement together or we leave this life together"

"Save the cheerleader save the world"

"Meredith, are you okay?"

"I'm Billy Bush"

"Dawg"

"Will you accept this rose?"

Oprah saying a celebrityyyyyyyyy's naaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaame!

"I'm worried about Meredith."

Please add more.

17 comments:

norm said...

I used to keep saying Jaguar over and over until people made me stop.
Now I can't wait for Reynolds to start advertising "alluminium"

Doppler radar is a good one, but a local news broadcast was using the term "future forcast" for a while...and I really liked that.

I'd also nominate "The world's most advanced bra"
And/or any super-technologically advaced toothbrush, tennis shoe, or haicare product ( remember nano-bead technology?)

Michael Markowitz said...

Norm,

"alluminium" made me laugh out loud. The first pompous prick I knew who didn't own a Jaguar, later bought a Jaguar. Yesterday I saw a Jaguar with a plate that said "JAGOWNR" Putting that plate under the Jaguar logo is REAL insecurity.

(And if you own a Jaguar, remember, I said every pompous prick I know owns a Jaguar, not that every Jaguar owner I know is a pompous prick. Big logical-fallacy-related difference!)

"Future forecast" made me laugh, too, especially after this morning's hard-hitting, top-of-the-Today-show report on warm spring weather in New York. Yes, I repeat: warm spring weather in New York, a first-ten-minutes story on the Today show, on a day when dozens were killed or injured in a bombing in Iraq. And, as Bill Maher pointed out, in a week when the media, with a few exceptions (Maher, Stewart, Matthews, Olbermann) have totally ignored the story that we're not training the Iraqis anymore, and yet we're still not "standing down."

But I digress. In this gripping "It's a nice day today" story, they had a man-in-the-street interview, and this dude says, "It is extremely long overdue, especially after that winter and the past couple of weeks and just rain and rain."

Ummm... "especially after"?

If you take those out, why is the nice weather "overdue"? Future forecast, indeed.

But Norm.... Norm, norm, norm...Frankly, I'm stunned by the rest of your post. You're not half the man you used to be...

You never want to hear "World's most advanced bra again????

I want you to go to:

this site


and then either come back and apologize, or go to a party at Elton John's house.

norm said...

I'll check the site when I get home, but to elaborate on my "advanced bra" irritation.
I like the look of the ads and I like what they're selling.
It's just that I roll my eyes when they go into how high tech their bustenhalter is.
...and my eyes shouldn't be rolling during those ads, they should be bugging out, Tex Avery style.
Then again, the ads were probably supposed to be kind of a joke and I took things too seriously.

norm said...

And...
If someone really wants to make a high tech bra, how about a jogging bra that works for more "gifted" women....or an underwire that won't skewer a poor defenseless boobie when the bra begins to wear out.

It's funny how 12+ years of married life can wreak havok with your priorities.

Michael Markowitz said...

Norm, you can't on the one hand belittle the technology that goes into these things, and then on the other point out the seriousness of the problems they contend with. I agree that soap is soap, but as Howard Hughes pointed out, a bra is a tricky piece of engineering.

As for your feature requests, once again, Victoria's Secret has you... well, covered. Last month they introduced "Secret Embrace": no labels, stitches, seams or wires.

As for sports bras, even as a single man I have heard this complaint. Here's a link to Prevention magazine's roundup, which includes a printable PDF chart of the best sports bra for each body type.

http://tinyurl.com/2fo7vt

Should've Asked Me is TRULY full service

gina said...

You guys know WAY too much about bras.

Michael Markowitz said...

Well, I mean, you stare at something long enough...

norm said...

My only meagre (and dwindling) defense is that there are bras and then there are bras...some of which don't seem to have to do a heck of a lot.
But...I'm on shaky ground here and even my wife would tell you I'm no expert on the subject.
So...I'll try to cut my losses and let this go.

It still bugs me though, when commecials make things out to be far more of a technilogical feat than they really are.
What ever happened to the days when advertising simply gave you plain old information without hyperbole, disinformation or other dirty tricks?

Gosh, I miss those days.

gina said...

AFLAC!

Michael Markowitz said...

And how could we forget:

What's in yourrr wallet?

gina said...

Ironically enough, that was the one I couldn't remember this morning!

Michael Markowitz said...

What I wouldn't give to not remember that one

norm said...

My eight year old son said something to me yesterday that made me feel all warm and happy inside.
"It's not real life dad, it's just a commercial."

Michael Markowitz said...

Well maybe your wiseacre son can find a place that will pay him a wage for his smartalecky remarks, and then HE can pay for the programming he enjoys, since he is clearly ungrateful to the advertisers who are paying for it now. Listen... Comrade Norm, if that IS your name... You and your little Bolsheviknik better wise up and get with the program... the SPONSORED program... or TV as we know it will go away, and we'll be left with nothing but state-sponsored hygiene films 24 hours a day. Oh, but you'd like that, wouldn't you, Nikita?!!!

norm said...

Nyet!
You misunderstand, Tovarisch....
I mean... No, my Capitalist friend,
my son loves commercials.
He won't even skip them on recorded shows and he frequently rewinds them (seriously)

I'm just happy he knows the difference between Advertisingland and the other pack of lies we call "the real world"

not norm (bacause posting 43 times in one day would just be sad) said...

One more...
"Every kiss begins with Kay"

Michael Markowitz said...

oh my god yes!!! so does every

killing spree

kick in the nuts

kidney punch

knee to the groin

knitting needle in the eye

knife in the throat

and so on.

Bill Maher told the story once of talking to a very nice, very intelligent actress who was enthusing about diamond jewelry. Bill pointed out that it was not uncommon for children to lose fingers or even arms in the harvesting of diamonds. She pondered this, then looked up and asked, "Both arms?"