Thursday, May 24, 2007

I Love Alicia Silverstone

I watched yesterday's The View with my jaw hanging open. I could not believe what I was seeing.

And this was before the argument between Rosie and that piece of dryer lint who sits across from her.

I was amazed that they'd found a guest co-host nearly as stupid as Elisabeth. This woman was a friggin' idiot, no two ways about it. A genuine moron.

But of course, no one is as stupid as Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Elisabeth, after all, is the woman who recently said -- no, recently insisted repeatedly -- that "steel weakens at 270 degrees." She has not taken it back.

If I seem obsessed with this, it's because I am. George Bush's most loyal and unquestioning supporter on TV... a woman who appears, five days a week, on a show where she spouts her opinions on world affairs... actually believes steel is less heat-resistant than cake.

I believe that in order to become a "pundit" you should have to take a test. The test should have only one question:

"True or False?
I believe steel is not as sturdy as brisket."

The test should be pass/fail, with no curve.

Anyway, what does all this have to do with Alicia Silverstone?

Well... My favorite part of the show -- the part I've been enjoying over and over and over -- was not the fight. It was what came immediately afterward: Alicia doing what I wish more guests would do: giving Elisabeth el shoulder frio. Check out the frosty move below... It's a thing of beauty. You can practically feel Elisabeth wanting to stamp her little foot and cry.

In gratitude to Alicia, I'll include a plug for the extremely worthy campaign she was promoting. I always have at least two containers of Silk soy milk in my fridge. It's delicious. And now Silk is running a great Green Cap promotion to make it easy for you to turn dirty energy into clean energy.


Ellen said...

Whoa! That was chilltastic!

We love Silk! Always have one or two containers in our fridge, too. I especially like the enhanced variety.

Even though I may sorta be the demographics for The View, I have never been able to watch more than 5-10 mins of any of their shows over the years.

Guess I'm atypical, though. I rather watch Evil Dead 2 than The Notebook, any day.

Have a great Mem Day weekend!

Michael Markowitz said...

As for ED2 vs. TN, who wouldn't??

As for Silk, it's particularly great with Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds.

As for Mem Day Weekend, you too!

Ellen said...

Reminds me of one of my favorite of the 700 Hoboes...Honey Bunches of Donald.

Do you know about the hoboes?

Michael Markowitz said...

From John Hodgman's book? Sure!

By the way, look for the Silk with the green cap.

And speaking of the View demographic, while I'm well outside it, I watch because I'm hungry for any show featuring informal chat about news. When Politically Incorrect went off it left a void. Television's powers-that-be refuse to believe that men want a show that's not about sports.

Speaking of news, has anyone else noticed that the first half-hour of the Today Show has gone awfully light? The press conference got 60-90 seconds of coverage this morning.

Ellen said...

If you haven't heard the 700 Hoboes spoken, it's a must listen-to.
Here's the link: or

Had trouble, but one of the links should work.

I haven't watched the Today show lately, but will check it out. I'm pretty sore at Today, because they are expanding it another hour, making NBC cancel my most guilty pleasure, "Passions".

Passions will continue on DirectTV, I think, but since I don't have it, that's the end for me. Part of the fun of watching it, was participating in a newsgroup, where a bunch of hilarious folks would tear the show apart.

Ellen said...

I am also fond of hoboes #675 and #676.

Michael Markowitz said...

In fairness to The Today Show (wow, it feels strange to say that), I think you have the decisions in reverse order. It's not like Today came in, snapping in unison like the Jets, and demanded that turf.

I believe NBC had been looking for ANYTHING that could plug that leaking hour better and, with syndication programming so weak, pleaded with Today to expand. Not an easy decision, I'm sure... Matt has said publicly he's not thrilled with the third hour, much less a fourth... and Meredith is obliged by her Millionaire contract to leave at 9.

I must confess given the choice of an hour of Passions (which I never watch, because it scares me) or an hour of Natalie Morales (which I will watch eagerly every day) it's Morales time!

Ellen said...

Thanks for the backstory. You know heaps about the industry's inside scoop, and it's interesting to know how it really went down.

Yeah, Passions is scary. I started watching it when I was recuperating from surgery several years ago. It was very campy and fun to watch. It's deteriorated greatly and now I don't even bother watching it more than once a week, if that. Reading spoilers and participating in that newsgroup I mentioned is the best part of the whole experience.

Pardon my ignorance, but who's Natalie Morales?

Michael Markowitz said...

Well... I wouldn't say I "know heaps"... It's closer to "educated guess." :-)

But then again, that qualifies me to be a talking head on a 24 hour cable news show! Fox, in particular, has people on to talk about entertainment stories (like, say, The View) who have no problem with not just getting the story completely wrong, but with actually saying things like, "Barbara Walters thinks..." or "Rosie is worried that..."

They are actually sourcelessly reporting what is happening inside heads!!

I also should clarify that when I said Passions was scary, I didn't mean like SAW scary, I meant like "how did this get on the air" scary. But I'm sure if I were making fun of it with a bunch of folks online it would have been a lot more fun.

And who am I to mock? As a teen, recuperating like you,I got hopelessly hooked on Luke and Laura and Scorpio and all those knuckleheads. It's one of my dirtiest shames.

Michael Markowitz said...

Oh, I forgot to answer about Natalie Morales.

I'll put a picture up on the blog. She's the host of the third hour (and soon the fourth hour) of Today. She is EXTREMELY easy on the eyes. I find her to be the best part of waking up.

When she used to stand next to Katie Couric, it looked like the poster for a film version of "Picture of Dorian Gray"