Wednesday, May 23, 2007

My To-Do List For the Day in Preparation for the Lost Finale

c Program everything in the house to record Lost in case my main TiVo fails.

c Have a friend record Lost just in case.

c Have six more friends record Lost as backup.

c Buy eight HDTV's to place in a circle around me in case I accidentally turn my head during the show.

c Have a colon cleanse and get a catheter installed.

c Call L.A. Times, buy three subscriptions so they won't call during the show.

c Call all auto insurance companies and sign up so they won't call during the show.

c Sever all ties with family and friends so they won't call during the show.

c Call AT&T and cancel my phone service.

c Unplug all the phones just to make sure.

c Duct tape the windows. I don't know why, but it seems like the thing to do.

c Commence show enjoyment.


Paul Levinson said...

Intelligent and funny list! Lost: Keys to What's Really Going On...

Ellen said...

You make me laugh!!

Can't wait to dish about the show.

I posted an interesting observation to "The Fuselage" and can't wait to see how many others got it.

Sydelle Pearl said...

What - no anti-blink mechanism installed? Guess you're not a real fan. La la la.

Michael Markowitz said...


I should have mentioned: I had my blink mechanisms surgically removed before the first televised Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Since then my houseboy Randy applies artificial tears when needed.

Paul and Ellen,

I avoid all Lost boards and blogs because of spoiler fears. For example, Norm mentioned that Adrian Pasdar and Milo Ventimiglia had been signed for Heroes for next season. If I were a Heroes fan, I'd be upset to know that. (We're talking major spoilerphobia)

I used to work with someone who was a PSYCHO spoiler. He could not WAIT to spoil stuff. It would eat him up inside. You would tell him not to and you could see it bubbling up, waiting to explode out of him. I found myself going to movies defensively!!