Friday, January 19, 2007


45 iPod Cases are very cool, very unique, and made from recycled vinyl singles. You even get to pick your song from an eclectic assortment.

Isaiah, Have You Met Nikki and Jessica?

“We learned that we have to watch what we say...We have to make sure we’re more accountable.”

-- Isaiah Washington, Entertainment Weekly, 12/19/06

''No, I did not call T.R. a faggot. Never happened."

-- Isaiah Washington backstage at the Golden Globes, 1/15/07

''I apologize to T.R., my colleagues, the fans of the show, and especially the lesbian and gay community for using a word that is unacceptable in any context or circumstance."

-- Isaiah Washington, statement issued 1/18/07

Wii-kini Boxing

It had to happen eventually... at least if I had anything to say about it. See the best reason to buy a Wii here.

I Love 30 Rock More Every Week

But one thing about the show bothers me: the conceit that Tina Fey is not one of the sexiest women ever.

The men on the show react to her like she's Lena the Hyena. It's funny from Jack, but unbelievable from everyone else.

Those Poor Kids Auditioning for American Idol

There's a lot of Idol-sniping and tsk-tsk-ing in the media. "The judges are too mean." "Those poor kids." "Why do the judges have to be so cruel?"

Do I feel bad for those auditioners?

Hell to the no.

If they went on Ellen and Ellen started to make fun of them, I'd feel bad. If they went on Rachael Ray and Rachael threw taunts at them, I'd write a letter. Because both of those would be an ambush.

But this is the sixth season of American Idol. I mean, seriously... How can you not know what that room is going to be like?

If you are going to audition for Idol, you have to first ask yourself three questions:

1. Am I absolutely certain I don't suck?
2. Seriously now, no kidding: I really don't suck?
3. If I do suck, am I going to be okay with what will happen to me?

(There's an optional fourth question, but only if your friends call you "The Hotness": Am I sure they are really my friends?)

Look, I don't think it's necessary to make fun of, say, the size of someone's eyes. Especially when there's so much to legitimately mock in his singing and dancing. But I don't blame Simon, because I can't promise that I could sit through eight hours of listening to delusional wackos without getting incredibly pissed off that they don't own mirrors or tape recorders.

No one wants to squash someone's dream, but wouldn't it be more cruel to feed their delusions?

Besides, it was worth sitting through all those losers to get to brother-and-sister Sanjaya
and Shyamali Malakar. These may be the two most adorable people in television history.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


What a great, simple idea. is a website that lets you plug in any set of dimensions and see what they'd look like next to a variety of objects. I don't know about you, but the specs on electronics have no real-world meaning for me. (For the picture above, I randomly chose a Canon HV10 camcorder, and discovered that, even rendered as a block, it's smaller than I thought it'd be.)

This site is a huge, well-designed help.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

How Can You Not Be Inspired By This Soaring Rhetoric?

"I do not think that this strategy has a very high level of success at all attached to it."

-- Sen. Hillary Clinton on The Surge, Today, 1/17/07

Three Thoughts About the Golden Globes

1. I propose the following rule change: In order to qualify as a "comedy" a show must actually be a comedy. In other words, if you walked past a room full of people watching it, their laughter would make you say, "Hey, they must be watching a comedy." Otherwise, it's not a "comedy."

2. Seeing Forest Whitaker win reminded me that Idi Amin killed hundreds of thousands of people, and we didn't invade Uganda. I mean, seriously... he
ate people, and we still stayed home.

3. I love the show, but last night was missing what is always the best part: the hilariously awful opening song. Every year the "special lyrics" are so incredibly, inexplicably lame that they light up my winter. I'm sorry to see the tradition has been abandoned.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Three Commercial Characters I'd Like To See Snap and Spray the Room with Machine Gun Fire

The worried guy who tells his wife they're going to be audited by the IRS, and she launches into the bitchiest monologue possible about how he chose to have a box do their taxes. "Look: a box!" "Let's ask the box." "Oh, right... It's a box." If I were he, I'd seal her in a box. Then bury the box. Then salt the dirt over the box.

Then there's the Olive Garden hostess who is trying to seat a woman, and the woman goes into this weird rant about how she's meeting a date whose shoes will be untied. The hostess makes her "huh" face, until the woman's kid yells, "Mommy!" or somesuch. They end the commercial before the hostess splashes a scalding pot of marinara in her face.

And finally, the mom who takes her whole family on a cruise for one reason only: to see her snotty daughter smile. They try everything, do everything, drag themselves and this c__t from one activity to another, trying desperately to get her to validate them. Finally, she smiles... but then realizes one of these people -- these apparent assholes who insist on loving her -- is watching and resumes scowling. Let's hope they slit her throat before she wishes them into the corn.

I Still Can't Believe The O.C. Has Been Cancelled

And here I am, having just gotten a Pancakes tattoo.

There's a lot of speculation about where and why the show lost its way. I can sum it up in one word:


Monday, January 15, 2007

If You Saw Saturday Night Live...

Is it my imagination, or is Jake Gyllenhaal a better singer than 90% of the women who audition for American Idol?

Random Jibba Jabba

  • The "Powerhouse" Visa commercial, showing check card customers moving through a coffeehouse like a well-oiled machine until a cash customer jams up the works, is both counterintuitive and insulting. When have you ever been in a line and been sorry to see someone in front of you use cash? And how dare any business make a customer feel like crap for using cash to pay for his purchase? A customer should be able to pay with Krugerrands if he wants to.

  • Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln and George Washington were such great men, I wish their holidays were as big a deal as Turkey Day.

  • I've said this before, but it still hasn't sunk in (with anyone but Russ Feingold): When George Bush says that no one should criticize his Iraq policy unless they can come up with a different plan for victory, it's a ludicrous premise that should be rejected. If a building were on fire, and someone was spraying a tanker full of gasoline on it, so now the fire was raging out of control, no one can come up with a way to stop the fire... but it certainly doesn't mean that you keep spraying gasoline on it!

  • 24 kicked ass last night.

  • Yesterday on Reliable Sources, Howard Kurtz bemoaned the fact that a "serious journalist" like Barbara Walters had gotten involved in the O'Donnell-Trump feud. Barbara Walters is a "serious journalist" like O.J. Simpson is a "football hero."

  • Must 80% of the music on Grey's Anatomy be as twinkly and twee as the loathsome theme song? I like the show, but need a shot of insulin before I watch.

  • Literally nothing happened on Desperate Housewives last week. Which is why I didn't record it this week.

  • Visual Hub may be the greatest software ever. Ever.

  • TiVoDecode Manager may also be the greatest software ever. I would imagine it works beautifully in tandem with something else mentioned in this post. (Unfortunately, the Digital Millennium Copyright Act could be interpreted as prohibiting my being more specific.)
  • By law, every DVD box set should be required to have one-sided discs, and to have every disc clearly marked, i.e. "24, Season 5, Disc 2." Some DVDs don't even have this info on the menus! (I'm looking at you, Buffy.) It would be even better if the episodes were listed on the physical disc. Some discs are either unadorned or only have a character picture on every disc... which is useless to those of us who don't keep them in their original packaging.
  • I don't care what anyone says: I love The Apprentice.

The iPhone Launch is a Good Excuse to Revisit the Best Spec Ad I've Ever Seen