Saturday, March 17, 2007

Something's Different, Paris... Is It the Hair?... No, No! Don't Tell Me!

I got news for you, Vampira. You can make them the size of Mini Coopers... you're still strictly a 3, maybe a 4 if it's closing time.

Is This Chicken or Tuna What I'm VNCing?

Chicken of the VNC is incredibly easy, free software that lets you control one Mac from another... whether you're across the house or across town. It really comes in handy if you use a Mini as part of your home theater setup and you don't want to deal with another keyboard and mouse.

The always-helpful Murphy Mac has a great primer to get you started.

Thursday, March 15, 2007


(I'm being really sarcastic, by the way.)

A Visit From Shaikh Mohammed

'Twas a month of bad headlines
For Bush and his crew
They were all bound for prison
As far as they knew!

Alberto and Scooter
And Harriet Meiers
And Cheney had shown
The whole bunch to be liars

Conservatives nestled
All snug in their beds
And told their gay hookers
Their fears and their dreads

They squealed as the straps
Slapped against their behinds
"If only some fear
Would distract all their minds!"

"We need us some terror"
They gagged through the ball
"But there isn't a threat!
No, no threat at all!"

And then with a gurgling
They heard from his cell
The sound of a pris'ner
Not breathing so well

A horrible man
Whom they'd long since forgotten
His back thick with fur
His soul dead and rotten

"Hey, that's what we'll do!"
They cried out at last
"If there's no terror now
There was some in the past!"

So into the headlines
Some old news did ride
And outrage and scandals
That day did subside

And Cheney and Bush?
Their news cycle was saved!
And our Founding Fathers
Spun 'round in their graves.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

And They Showed So Much Common Sense in Leaving Iraq

The way I understand it, this woman is a British celebrity, and is, from where I sit, a big part of what makes England if not green then pleasant.

When she recently appeared on a reality show called Love Island or somesuch, she was left in tears because none of the men liked her.

Once more: none of the men liked her.

I'm starting to worry about England.

"You're Smart"

I loved the iVillage commercial with that really funny actor playing the baker ("Carbs, carbs..."), and now they've done it again. Both actors in this commercial are great, but the woman is particularly funny; her performance is precise yet effortless, a small gem. Proof that there is room for subtlety in commercials.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

For Dancing With the Stars, Heather Mills Has Begun Stretching

She's seriously stretching the definitions of both "dancing" and "stars."

Please Give... Just Pennies a Month Can Make Such a Difference in Her Life

Pop quiz (pun intended):

Who has had more hit singles in the last 20 years?

A. Diana Ross
B. Suri Cruise
B. Me

Answer: It's a trick question. We're locked in a three-way tie at zero, but since she's the cutest my money's on Suri to be the first to deliver.

Clipmarks & BlueOrganizer

Clipmarks is useful, fun, and easier to see in action than have explained to you... so enjoy the video above. I was skeptical at first, but like AdaptiveBlue's BlueOrganizer, it comes in handy.

Why Some Comments Don't Get Approved

When I first started this blog, I made the rookie mistake of letting any and all comments go through. Boy, did I learn quick.

So I switched to moderated comments. At first I eliminated the spam and the bots and zombies. Then out went the abusive and profane... that is to say the unnecessarily so. Profanity can be a very good thing, but like a leather strap, only if applied skillfully.

So there I was, with only humans, politely expressing opinions... some of which made me really mad.

And then I realized, "Hey... this is my house."

It dawned on me that I was under no legal or moral obligation to include all viewpoints in the blog. That Lord knows my opposites felt no such need.

I started this blog because I didn't feel my views were being represented anywhere. (Decide for yourself if that's a good thing or not.) This was supposed to be a safe refuge for my leanings.

So I decided to reject those comments that were amply represented elsewhere, especially if they were simply there to pick a fight. If you want to recite right-wing talking points there is no shortage of places for you to do so. Go with God.

I decided if you're Anonymous, you're starting a few steps behind. You're not automatically rejected, but you're closer than if you'd included your name.

I decided to reject comments that simply don't make sense to me. You would be amazed at the number of comments that come in that simply defy all efforts to comprehend them. I sit and read them over and over... I try to parse them, to break them down ... syntax, tree, X-bar, Venn, and even Witch's Hat diagrams are often involved... but in the end they make no sense at all.

One commenter has an amazing knack for not only making no sense, AND saying things that have nothing to do with the post, but he/she always manages to quote and/or reference something or someone I've never heard of. It's uncanny. ("It's like Jason Q. LeGriunemarte always says in his "Champions" segment on Finite! on Channel 137") In those cases, I have to carefully weigh whether the point is cogent enough and/or adds enough to the conversation to make it worth Googling whoever this person is talking about.

A big strike against you is if you're trying to spark an argument that leads us down a tiresome side road:

Mac vs. PC
pro-choice vs. anti-choice
blowjob vs. perjury
stuffing vs. potatoes
NY, Boston or Chicago deep-dish

(For the record: Mac, pro-choice, blowjob, stuffing, Chicago deep-dish AND Chicago stuffed)

...and away from the arguments that really matter:

Sargent or York
sock-sock or sock-shoe
under-roll or over-roll
Roth or Hagar
Jeannie or Samantha
Lily or Morticia
Ginger or Maryanne
natural or implants
Salma o Penelope
Paris or Nicole

(For the record: Sargent, sock-sock, under, Roth, Samantha, Morticia, both, both, both, neither)

Anyway, that's how we've ended up with our happy little community here. I like it, and I hope you do, too. And if you have any normal friends, please invite them over. As long as they have names.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Remember When Cheney Said Rumsfeld Was the "Finest Secretary of Defense" We've Ever Had?

Well, clearly Dick Cheney is an amazing judge of talent. As such, I was really curious to check out his March Madness brackets. So much so that I had a friend of mine sneak (or is that leak?) one of his worksheets to me. Awesome, baby!

(Click to enlarge)

The Army Has Found a Solution to Hospital Overcrowding: Send the Injured Back to Iraq!

And no, I swear, I'm not kidding. I wish I were. Read the details of how this administration continues to abuse our heroes at

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Spellcheck of the Week

As Always, Doug's Apple Scripts Comes Through

I asked iTunes to stop booting me to the podcast window after each click of the subscribe button, and they obliged. So I suppose it was too much to hope they'd address my number one complaint: the way podcasts keep expiring, forcing you to resubscribe and resubscribe and resubscribe and resubscribe and--

You know what I mean. It's as if your mailman kept peeking in your bathroom window, noticing your magazines were piling up, and cancelling your magazine subscriptions. Unacceptable on so many levels.

Well, leave it to the indispensable Doug's Apple Scripts to solve the problem, as they do with so many iTunes and iPod issues. Update Expired Podcasts 1.0 does just that. It's one of hundreds of neat scripts that (as I've said before) you'll try and then find you can't live without. And they're all free. (Of course, donating is good for the soul.)

Newt Gingrich Proves Once and For All He's a Massive Douchebag: Watch Your Back, Novak!