Friday, April 06, 2007

Finally: Point-and-Click, User-Friendly, Foolproof HD Torrents. Awesome.

Vuze by Azureus - High Definition Movies and Videos

This is Fake

To me, this video was always an obvious fake, for three reasons:

1. Why would the camera go to the phone guy before the lecturer did?

2. Why wouldn't the lecturer smash the equally distracting video camera?

3. He's not actually saying anything. He's circumlocuting in that clumsy way people do when they don't know the first thing about improv.

Anyway, I thought this hoax had long-since been put to bed. But in the last month I've seen it three times on TV, and someone just sent it to me tonight.

Anyway, once and for all, this is a fake... and a flop to boot. Adrants has the real story on this failed attempt at manufactured spontaneity, as well as quotes from the faux phone-smasher. He's an advertising creative director who made a himself a laughing stock pretty much for no reason.

And on a hilarious and pathetic side note, Bill O'Reilly showed this video a couple of weeks ago to illustrate a point only Billo could have thought of: that cell phone cameras should not be allowed in class. (!)

Forget that it's clearly -- pun intended -- not a cell phone video.

But think about it: not only did he think this video was real, but he didn't blame the asshole talking on the phone. He didn't blame the apparently-psychotic prof.

O'Reilly blamed the guy with the camera.


If only, on that awful day in Dallas in 1963 when John F. Kennedy was assassinated, police had gotten there in time to arrest Abraham Zapruder.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Jagged Little Humps

(By the way, this is really Alanis Morissette!)

"Look, I'm the hostage negotiator, and I'm telling you, this guy's batshit crazy! You send in SWAT, those women are as good as dead!"

Meanwhile, these other two hostage situations have been going on for almost a year and a half, and sadly they've been totally forgotten by the media:

A Classic Simpsons Scene That Seems Even Funnier -- and More Accurate -- Today

And, for no other reason than it's brilliant, here's the recent opening sequence that may be the best they've ever done.

Seeing the World Through a Series of Tubes

That's the Internet version of tunnelvision. It's when you work for a company, and you deal with their website issues all day, every day. And that website is REALLY important to you, so you can't imagine it's not just as important to everyone.

It's a delusion. Most of the things that are important to you are really just specks to everyone else. And that's fine. Recognizing that is the key to sanity. Because if we all cared about the same things the same amount the world would suck. (The world would be like the Bush administration.)

But some people or organizations don't get it.

And here's a good example.

You know when you want to read an article in a newspaper online, and they make you go through that registration nonsense? Because they're selling your personal information to anyone with ten bucks and a spam to send?

So you either go to, or you give them one of your disposable emails and a username like "Oliver Clothesoff" and a password like "eatme69" and you read the article and you never go there again. And then you're bombarded with emails for the rest of time from them and from everyone they know.

One such paper (that I've visited twice in the last three years) just sent me an email I wanted to share. I'm hashing to protect the innocent:

Dear Subscriber,

We're upgrading our e-mail newsletters system. You will now have one location to go to manage all of your ######## e-mail subscriptions and information. To access it for the first time, you will need to create a password and verify or provide some personal information.

To create your password:

Click on the following link, or cut and paste it into your browser.

when you are asked for a password, type or cut & paste the following:
Your Temporary Password is: 4###g0##k4a##

You'll immediately have the ability to create a permanent password and verify your personal information.

Notice they're not asking me to do this. It's an "upgrade" that gives me something I'll "now have" so I "need" to do this so I can get an "ability."

Creating a password and verifying my personal information is, I repeat, an "ability."

Just like Clark Kent and Peter Parker have "abilities." Cool,huh?

(So if I don't do all this, I suppose I'll have a "disability"... and no one wants that.)

Is it a big ordeal in the grand scheme of things? Of course not. But it's indicative of a corporate tunnelvision when they impose a multi-stage process and make absolutely no effort to make it user-friendly.

When they
ask you to do something without actually asking you. There's no "will you please?" or "we'd appreciate it if you'd."

They never even say "thank you." I looked. Not once.

All so they can more effectively whore out my data.

So, yeah. I'll get right on that.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Uh Oh... Someone Must Have Looked in the Mirror and Said "Cheney" Three Times

If You've Been Enjoying the RGX Ads As Much As I Have...

... (which I doubt), you'll be pleased to know that this is Rachel Specter, and she's filling in for Olivia Munn tomorrow on AOTS.

It's notso hotso that Olivia won't be there, but I take solace in knowing that Layla Kayleigh will be.

To Be Fair, Orange Juice is Delicious

"A team of college students from Ferris State University in Michigan took inefficiency to new heights over the weekend with a machine that needs 345 separate procedures to make a glass of orange juice..."

Rube Goldberg competition sets record for inefficiency | CNET

Huh?? Why Didn't I Vote For Her??

She's out, and we're still stuck with friggin' Sanjaya and Lakisha?? Alaina, next time you're competing in a national popularity contest, don't hide your light(s) under a bushel, ferchrissake!

Alaina Alexander - American Idol - Photo Scandal Just Like Antonella Barba

Monday, April 02, 2007

Ann Coulter: Faces for Feces

This toilet paper is a fantastic idea. Because rubbing Ann Coulter's actual face on your ass would give you all kinds of horrible diseases.