Thursday, January 24, 2008

First in a Series: "Shit on the Lawn"

From time to time, I'd like to call your attention to commercials that I call "Shit on the Lawn" ads. They are commercials that have, I believe, a scene missing. It is the scene where the husband puts all the wife's shit on the lawn and tells her to get the fuck out.

There's no better ad to kick us off than the one for a tax prep chain, showing a husband having trouble with the couple's tax return. The wife, ever sympathetic, says something like, "Well, why don't you ask the box?" She continues to patronizingly berate him for trying a new way to do their taxes.

If I had directed the commercial, the next scene shows him flinging her shit on the lawn. And possibly smacking her across the face with a socket wrench.

Another good candidate is the Best Buy commercial where the wife thinks her husband is watching another couple kiss through his telescope (he wasn't). She sneers at him, as if he were worm crap.

In a perfect world, cut to: her shit on the lawn. (Actually, since this ad is set on a terrace, a more perfect ending would be him flinging her snotty ass over the railing.)

As more come up, let's post them here. And if your wife actually talks to you like this, please: throw her shit on the lawn.

6 comments:

gina said...

My God, Mike, every time I see that Turbo Tax commercial I say, "She is such a BITCH." Or, "Well then do the f*cking taxes yourself!" lol

norm said...

My thing with these ads is to imagine them turned around....and how much outrage there would be at the "misogynistic ads".

....then again....maybe that would just be the way women were depicted for the last few thousand years....so now it's our turn.

Not that that makes me like it any better.

Anonymous said...

Yeah let's just go back to when you beat us with a socket wrench-oh wait men still do.

Stephanie said...

Sadly, in all of my ad agency days, I never had the opportunity to produce a "shit on the lawn" concept. Mike, once again you have inspired me. Since I live alone, when I disapoint myself, and am a chick, I will throw my own shit on the lawn, which will just make me fit in with the rest of my neighborhood!

Michael Markowitz said...

gina, I am so with you. And here's an indicator of what a BAD commercial it is: I thought, as you did, it was a Turbo Tax commercial. But of course, it's an ANTI Turbo Tax commercial. So it sucks on every level.

Norm, you know where I stand, as I've posted on this endlessly. (And will soon post again). There's a commercial for a window cleaner that shows a slovenly guy waking up from a nap, realizing his house doesn't smell bad, thinking he's in the wrong house, and running into a window and knocking himself out.

Birds laugh at him, and his wife looks weary.

Okay, imagine if a woman were depicted as this stupid. You can't, right? Also, maybe the woman should think about how this reflects on her... After all, aparently her house usually stinks to high heaven. Finally, BIRDS laugh at him? They have brains the size of M&M's, and even THEY laugh at the husband?

And there's a new one for our hall of shame: Domino's 30 minutes or free ad? Husband says to wife, you thinking what I'm thinking? She sees him, in her mind, as a cheesy dork. Then asks, "What will we do with the other two minutes?"

CRUEL much? Hey, bitch, if you think he's such an asshole who leaves you unsatisfied sexually, don't humiliate him in exchange for free bad pizza... Get out and get a life you like better. Leave the poor schmuck alone. And men, would you EVER spend money on a Domino's pizza, knowing they see you this way?

Stephanie, no one would ever put your shit on the lawn. You are strictly indoors.

And Anonymous? I guarantee, if there's a man in your life, he is at this moment looking longingly at a socket wrench.

Becky said...

This has developed into a pasttime when my husband and I are stuck watching live TV. We used to just flip off the wife who told her husband to ask "the box" for tax advice. Envisioning that guy just getting up from the table, walking calmly upstairs, and tossing shit out the window is so much more fun.