Should've Asked Me

James Taylor & Stephen Colbert - "Carolina in My Mind"

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Video Archive

Apple's Great "Think Different" Ad's Unaired Version: Narrated by Steve Jobs Himself

2011-10-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

Peter O' Toole & David Letterman in London, 1995

2011-10-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

My friend Mary and I were talking about one of my heroes, Peter O'Toole, and it gave me a great excuse to run this legendary interview from the Late Show's 1995 London stint. Enjoy.

How to Peel a Head of Garlic in Less Than 10 Seconds

2011-10-01T03:00:00.000-07:00

How to Peel a Head of Garlic in Less Than 10 Seconds from SAVEUR.com on Vimeo.

Another Favorite Scene: DEATH BECOMES HER

2011-09-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

I've been enjoying sharing my all-time favorite scenes with you, so here is another one I love, a classic: Bruce Willis and Meryl Streep, both at their brilliant best, in Robert Zemeckis' underrated Death Becomes Her, written by Martin Donovan and David Koepp.

If Martin Donovan's name sounds familiar, it's because he's also a very gifted actor you've seen many times. If David Koepp's name sounds familiar, it's because he has written and/or directed a ridiculous number of legendary films, including a personal favorite of mine, Ghost Town.

And what can I say about Robert Zemeckis? He'd be my hero even his only films were the (for me) life-changing Back to the Future trilogy. (Or my guilty pleasure, 1941, co-written with Bob Gale and John Milius)

When I went to college film professors all seemed to teach the Psycho shower scene shot-by-shot. It was to film class what Silas Marner is to high school English. Except Psycho is great and Silas Marner is... well... not. (In fact, I think Silas Marner, Pilgrim's Progress, and other moldy classics have done more to turn young Americans off to reading than eyestrain. Please tell me they give you better books in high school today. Er, but I digress.)

My point is I hope that someone somewhere is teaching this Death Becomes Her scene shot-by-shot, because it's pure genius.

Another Favorite Scene: Groucho Marx Goes to War on False Pretenses

2011-09-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

I've posted this clip before, but as one of the best scenes ever written and performed, it's always worth watching again (and again). It's from the Marx Brothers masterpiece Duck Soup and it is such a great illustration of something we all do on occasion -- I call it "worrying on spec" -- as well as a fair depiction of Bush Administration foreign policy.

Here's how much this scene has influenced my life: as My Friend Mary can confirm, to this day, whenever the phone or doorbell rings I instinctively mutter, "More bad news."

Waving Crudely-Fashioned Brooms at Flies with Beaks: One of the Best Scenes Ever, from THE IN-LAWS

2011-08-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show's Brilliant Take on Republicans, Class Warfare and the Working Poor Should Be Required Viewing For All Americans (Two-Part Video)

2011-08-19T13:14:00.001-07:00

World of Class Warfare - Warren Buffett vs. Wealthy Conservatives

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

World of Class Warfare - The Poor's Free Ride Is Over

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

ColbertSuperPac: My Pride is $howing

2011-08-18T08:44:00.001-07:00

"Our Idiot Brother" Trailer: I'm Looking Forward to This

2011-08-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

Tainted Love: HORRIBLE BOSSES Jennifer Aniston Character UK Trailer

2011-08-10T09:12:00.000-07:00

A Daily Show Shout-Out to Horrible Bosses? I Can Die Happy

2011-07-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Horrible Bosses

Jon Stewart's Warm, Funny Interview With a Great American Hero, Awarded the Medal of Honor: U.S. Army Sgt. First Class Leroy Petry

2011-07-15T12:52:00.001-07:00

Extended interview, in two parts:

Exclusive - Leroy Petry Extended Interview Pt. 1

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Exclusive - Leroy Petry Extended Interview Pt. 2

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Jon Stewart Gets Comedy Repression Therapy from Jerry Seinfeld

2011-07-14T14:26:00.001-07:00

Comedy Repression Therapy

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Lawrence O'Donnell Nails Newsweek on its Sarah Palin Puff Piece

2011-07-12T13:22:00.001-07:00

Thank you @ParisHilton

2011-07-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

Stephen Colbert Has Figured Out Why Florida Governor Rick Scott Is So Unpopular

2011-06-28T15:16:00.000-07:00

Jason Sudeikis and Conan O'Brien Get Foot Massages, Talk Hand Jobs and Horrible Bosses

2011-06-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

Almost Certainly the Cutest Thing I've Ever Seen: A Cat Hugs a Kitten Who's Having a Bad Dream

2011-05-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

"Experience Human Flight": Mesmerizing Slow-Motion Video of Skydivers

2011-04-19T16:12:00.000-07:00

Experience Human Flight from Betty Wants In on Vimeo.

After SNL, Elton John Plays "The Bitch is Back"

2011-04-04T08:28:00.001-07:00

And I have to include the "Knights of the Realm" sketch, because I could watch Tom Hanks as Michael Caine all day.

As Promised, Stephen Colbert Sings "Friday" with Jimmy Fallon & The Roots (and More) for DonorsChoose.org

2011-04-02T11:26:00.001-07:00

Gravity Varies Around the Globe; Satellite Yields "Potato" View of Earth

2011-03-31T12:36:00.000-07:00

Gravity is strongest in yellow areas, weakest in blue. Read the story and spin the globe at BBC News.

"It's a Toilet. Or a Woman": 30 Rock Looks at the Plight of Writers, With a Cameo by Aaron Sorkin

2011-03-25T06:42:00.001-07:00

Baby Emerson's Mommy's Nose-Blowing is Scary, Yet Hilarious

2011-03-17T11:58:00.001-07:00

Alec Baldwin Interrupts The Late Show

2011-03-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

One of These Things Not Like Others: Porn Star Attempts Suicide! Seann William Scott Enters Treatment! Rihanna Wears a Very Low-Cut Dress????

2011-03-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Huffington Post

Every Parent Should Watch This: Martin Bashir Shares One Story of Bullying

2011-03-10T14:56:00.000-08:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

When I watch ABC's What Would You Do? I am often moved to tears by the courage and decency of average people who witness bullying of all kinds and step in and do something about it. If you ever see anyone being bullied -- even a child being bullied by his/her parent, don't be afraid to speak up.

Most Disturbing Robot Video Ever

2011-03-08T08:44:00.001-08:00

"Jen Aniston's Sex Tape"

2011-03-07T19:18:00.001-08:00

Katie Couric Investigates The Sillies

2011-03-07T13:42:00.001-08:00

Katie Couric Investigates the Sillies from Katie Couric

In a Nutshell, the Difference Between Republicans and Democrats

2011-02-14T10:30:00.000-08:00

Republicans believe that God will love and protect and care for the weak and the poor.

Democrats believe that's why He put us here.

The Friendship Between an Echo Park Retiree and Maria, the Friendly Goose

2011-02-14T08:24:00.000-08:00

The picture is awesome enough. Read the story behind it in the LA Times: "A Match of Man and Goose"

When President Obama Emerged From Meeting Congressional Republican Leadership I Wish He'd Quoted Jack Nicholson in "Mars Attacks!"

2011-02-09T19:10:00.000-08:00

"I want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad."

Rep. Chris Lee Harvey Oswald: Photoshoppers, Start Your Engines

2011-02-09T17:50:00.001-08:00

Sweet Sassy Molassy! The Classic SNL SportsCenter Sketch with Ray Romano and Tim Meadows

2011-02-08T15:10:00.000-08:00

Super Bowl-esque Anthem Fail, a Cheesehead Hat, Chick Hearn, Supermodels, and George Will Hit in the Head by a Cinderblock

2011-02-07T13:32:00.001-08:00

All in the same Duckman: "Vuuck as in Duck." It's one of the Duckman episodes I'm proudest of. (Warning: this video has ads in some really intrusive spots, but hey, what can we do?)

416 (58) - Vuuck as in Duck
Uploaded by zacmc. - Click for more funny videos.

Stephen Colbert, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Christiane Aman-Purr

2011-02-04T09:52:00.001-08:00

I've always wondered: When Fox News personalities say incredibly stupid things, and Stewart and Colbert and everyone else who thinks and reasons points it out, do the Fox News idiots ever react to it?

I now know the answer: Bill O'Reilly said the stupidest thing I've seen in years on Fox News (the tides thing) and he responded with something even stupider. Thank God for Stephen Colbert, seen here making it one of the funniest things I've seen in years.

And then, just because they're funny, enjoy Stephen spotlighting Hannity's ignorance (Did he double down on it, too?) and a Groundhog Day appearance by Christiane Aman-Purr.

Conan Unveils Nicolas Cage Threat Level Scale

2011-02-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

The New L.A. Noire Trailer

2011-01-29T09:50:00.000-08:00

Stephen Colbert Brilliantly Mocks Mika, Palin AND Rush in These Two Hilarious Clips

2011-01-22T15:24:00.000-08:00

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Mika Brzezinski Experiences Palin Fatigue

Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>

Video Archive

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Rush Limbaugh Speaks Chinese

Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>

Video Archive

Colbert Report: "The Enemy Within - Caboodle Ranch"

2011-01-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The Enemy Within - Caboodle Ranch

Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>

March to Keep Fear Alive

TNT Trailer for Steven Spielberg's Falling Skies

2010-12-28T13:32:00.000-08:00

NY Times (Rightly) Says Jon Stewart's Push for 9/11 Bill Recalls Edward R. Murrow

2010-12-28T07:58:00.001-08:00

Read the article here: In ‘Daily Show’ Role on 9/11 Bill, Echoes of Murrow.

Best Phone Message in TV History: Seinfeld's "George is Dead"

2010-12-23T08:42:00.001-08:00

Brilliant: Ronnie Corbett Has a Problem With His Blackberry

2010-12-21T15:04:00.001-08:00

Best Friends Animal Sanctuary's "Jolly Holli-Dog Celebration"

2010-12-16T12:24:00.001-08:00

In Memory of Blake Edwards, My Favorite Pink Panther Scene, Including "The Pavlova of the Parallels"

2010-12-16T09:58:00.000-08:00

Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at MOVIECLIPS.com

Here is the entire, brilliant sequence:

From Conan: Minty Returns, and Seth Green's Humping Robot

2010-12-15T11:20:00.001-08:00

How to Fold a Fitted Sheet

2010-12-06T18:42:00.001-08:00

"Insane Hand Model"

2010-12-06T07:50:00.001-08:00

The phrase "insane hand model" is Buzzfeed's opinion of Ellen Sirot. Not that I disagree. On the other hand, she's wise to pamper her hands, lest she end up like poor Ray McKigney.

The Damnedest, Most Bafflingly Star-Studded Video I've Ever Seen: Kind of a Norwegian "I'm a Celebrity, Let Me Lip Dub 'Let It Be'"

2010-12-03T17:10:00.001-08:00

Interactive Puppet Prototype with Hacked Kinect

2010-11-22T16:54:00.000-08:00

Genius: The Sad Bookshelf

2010-11-18T14:34:00.001-08:00

by Red F Studios, via Make: Online

"And the Flowers are Still Standing!!" How to Do the Tablecloth Trick, Plus Good Advice for Parents: Get Your Kids Excited About Science

2010-11-18T14:24:00.000-08:00

In case any of your guests tomorrow want to go for it. Via SteveSpanglerScience.com, an amazing site with all kinds of cool experiments to get your kids excited about science. I added one of my favorite Steve Spangler videos: the Cornstarch Walk, the most fun a kid can have learning about non-Newtonian fluid.

Browse the site for ideas for fun things you can do at home. Science is fun. Many of the experiments on the site are goo- and/or ooze-related, and what's more fun than that?

My five-year-old goddaughter is crazy about math and science... though not as much as she is about Ariel and Ghostbusters. She loves learning about the elements, anatomy, astronomy (her favorite planet is Saturn), and many more subjects, and has been that way since she was two-years-old.
Click to read more >>

The Remarkable Biomechanics Behind Cat Lapping

2010-11-14T20:58:00.000-08:00

They're not just flopping their tongues around like, say, dogs. Read more at The New York Times: For Cats, a Big Gulp With a Touch of the Tongue

The Uncut Jon Stewart/Rachel Maddow Interview

2010-11-12T11:10:00.000-08:00

How Dogs Help Veterans Cope with PTSD

2010-11-11T09:18:00.001-08:00

Angry Birds Theme Arranged for Orchestra

2010-11-10T21:20:00.000-08:00

What I Imagine Every Conversation Between Chris Matthews and Mike Barnicle is Like:

2010-11-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

Chris Matthews: Here in America we don't make things anymore.

Mike Barnicle: I know!

Chris Matthews: Right??

Mike Barnicle: Absolutely.

Chris Matthews: We used to make things.

Mike Barnicle: Not anymore.

Chris Matthews: I was just thinking that.

Mike Barnicle: You're so right.

(pause)

Mike Barnicle: And nobody shares sacrifice.

Chris Matthews: But mainly we don't make things anymore.

Mike Barnicle: You nailed it.

(pause)

Mike Barnicle: Where are we?

Chris Matthews: Never mind that, where are your pants?!

Proof That Bush & Cheney Intended to Invade Iraq From Day One

2010-11-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

I keep tweeting and reposting this post, and I'll keep doing it as long as the media ignore it.

From 2007: "Who Says We Haven't Had a Terrorist Attack Since 9/11?!"

2010-11-08T17:00:00.000-08:00

You hear it all the time. Cheney says it all the time. Bush says it all the time. Barbara Walters said it this morning. She doesn't like Bush's foreign policies, "but you have to admit, we haven't had a terrorist attack since 9/11."

I'm really sick of hearing that. It's... what's the word? A canard? Hogwash? Bullshit?

First of all, it's been less than six years since 9/11. After the first World Trade Center bombing in 1993, American soil went unattacked for eight years. In hindsight, did it make us safer on 9/10? Then why would it now?

Second of all, when someone tries to kill the Vice President (forgetting that it requires a wooden stake) and kills 32 troops instead, does that not count as a terrorist attack?

But put that aside. Because there may be an even simpler reason why we "haven't been attacked."

Because, like Pizza Hut, we delivered.

We sent thousands and thousands of Americans right into Iraq, then took out the only guy keeping the terrorists out of the country. It was like throwing our troops into the water and filling it with chum.

Why should the terrorists go to all the trouble of plotting and planning to come over here to kill 2900 people, when we have, so far, hand-delivered into their laps more than 3300 beautiful young souls?

For the terrorists, it's fish in a barrel.

When Bush says, "We have to fight them over there, or we'll be fighting them over here," he doesn't mean that we'll defeat them over there. Because he knows full well we can't.

His plan is a very old one, as old as ignorance itself. Human sacrifice is the last refuge of a leader in over his head, whether he uses burning, beheading, burial, bloodletting, or a "surge."

Bush will just keep shoveling young bodies into the maw of this beast and hope that it pleases it, mollifies it, hope that it satisfies its hunger, slakes its thirst. At least until January, 2009, when the beast becomes someone else's problem.

Let's make it someone else's problem now.

originally posted 4/25/07

Photo: "Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear" From Space

2010-11-02T09:48:00.001-07:00

Click picture to see it in (amazing) full size.

For larger area view, go to Internet Today.

Jon Stewart's Incredibly Moving, Eloquent "Rally to Restore Sanity" Keynote

2010-11-01T08:32:00.001-07:00

Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

Jon Stewart - Moment of Sincerity

www.comedycentral.com

Rally to Restore Sainty and/or Fear

The Daily Show

Ep. 70: Larry playing George

The Video Every Parent Should See.. and When The Time is Right, Watch With Your Children

2010-10-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

Lawrence O'Donnell Says to Elisabeth Hasselbeck What I've Always Wanted To, More Brilliantly Than I Could Have

2010-10-15T16:38:00.001-07:00

Michael J Fox and Spike Do a Shot-for-Shot Remake of the Original Back to the Future Teaser

2010-10-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

and the original, I think one of the best teasers ever:

Click to learn more about the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research.

If This Doesn't Inspire You to Explore Science With Your Kids, Nothing Will: Launching a Video Camera in a Homemade Spacecraft

2010-10-12T09:26:00.001-07:00

Video from a camera attached to a weather balloon that rose into the
upper stratosphere and recorded the blackness of space.

Visit www.brooklynspaceprogram.org for all the info.

Look at Yourself, Now Back at Grover: Sesame Street Spoofs Old Spice

2010-10-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

Man's World

2010-10-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

(By request, a repost of a 2005 post)

Of all my pet peeves, this is my peeviest. My friends will be amazed it's taken me this long to bring it up here. But the truth is, I didn't bring it up, The Washington Post did.

In an article recently, the Post addressed what they perceived as a shift in marketing strategy. They used the 2003 Miller Lite ad wherein two guys fantasize about two women getting into a wrestling match in a fountain as an example of how ads used to appeal to men's egos. Then they use several contemporary examples to illustrate how men are ridiculed and belittled in today's ads. They question the wisdom of this approach, and rightly so.

One problem: they missed a key point in those Miller Lite ads.

Beyond the fact that they arguably mocked men by reducing them to their baser impulses -- impulses I readily admit to heartily sharing -- the ads were, in fact, female-friendly. Like all ads.

Don't believe me? Think back.
Click to read more >>

A Classic SNL Celebrity Jeopardy: Gifford vs. Hanks vs. Connery

2010-09-24T20:20:00.001-07:00

If Last Night's "The Office" Has You in the Mood for a Lip Dub: an Epic, 172-Student One from UQAM, Quebec

2010-09-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

Genius: Conan O'Brien TBS "Stripper" Promo

2010-09-24T10:58:00.001-07:00

Behind the Scenes of the Curb/Seinfeld Finale: Jason Alexander Shows Larry David How to Play George Costanza

2010-09-23T18:26:00.001-07:00

America's 100 Best Communities for Young People

2010-09-21T16:36:00.001-07:00

from America's Promise Facebook page

At a ceremony today in Washington DC, America's Promise Alliance honored 100 communities for "extraordinary community-wide efforts to improve the well-being of youth and end the nation’s dropout crisis."

In a column on CNN.com, founding chairpersons Alma & Colin Powell explain why the examples set by these communities are important, and what you can do to get involved.

To see if your community is on the list, visit AmericasPromise.org. If your community isn't on the list, send your leaders the link and ask why not.

Katy Perry & Elmo on Sesame Street: Hot N Cold

2010-09-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

I Love This: Northwestern University's Happiness Club

2010-09-09T09:42:00.001-07:00

Happiness Club Gives Northwestern Plenty to Smile About from Northwestern News on Vimeo.

"On a warm and sunny day in May, 30 Northwestern students gathered outside the Technological Institute, turned on their iPods and danced to the beat of a drummer no one else could hear.

"The Silent Dance Party was the first of several offbeat spring events organized by the Happiness Club, a student group with a simple mission -- increase the overall happiness of the Northwestern community.

""It's just to make people feel happier, and it does it in the simplest possible ways," said Weinberg sophomore Paul Geringer.

"The group celebrated Happiness Week from May 24 to 28 with a series of events designed to bring the campus together or simply elicit smiles..."

continue reading at Northwestern University NewsCenter

How the "Obama is a Muslim" Lunacy Took Hold and Grew, Since the Media are Asking

2010-08-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

So some nuts online whisper that Obama is a Muslim (which he's not).

And some right wing idiots believe it.

So the mainstream media start discussing it, to "debunk" it.

But in pursuit of some bizarre perversion of "objectivity" they always have one of the nuts or idiots on to spew his/her bile. For balance. Because apparently truth always needs a lie to balance it out.

The host subjects the nut or idiot to "tough questioning" which, of course, never gets through to nuts and idiots, so the bile just keeps spewing for four or five minutes.

Afterward, instead of saying, "Get out of the studio, you moron!" the host says, "Thank you very much for joining us." Giving a nut or idiot credibility he/she wouldn't deserve in a civilized society.

And a few thousand more viewers are convinced that Obama is a Muslim (which he's not).

Repeat. For years.

Then wonder with mock exasperation why people increasingly believe Obama is a Muslim (which he's not).

And invite a nut or idiot on to discuss how this idea possibly caught on.

Repeat.

Worst Magazine Cover Ever?

2010-08-26T13:36:00.001-07:00

Mini-Wheats Commercial? Or "Day of the Dead" Scene?

2010-08-24T11:04:00.001-07:00

Infectious Joy: PS22 Chorus SIngs Lady Gaga's "Just Dance"

2010-08-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

via Adam Savage @donttrythis

Did Cinemax Insert a Random Scene into Mr. Deeds?

2010-08-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Or am I missing something? (Always possible)

Genius: Jon Stewart Speaks Truth About Ground Zero

2010-08-11T16:28:00.001-07:00

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Municipal Land-Use Hearing Update

Political Humor

Tea Party

Genius: Steven Slater is Stephen Colbert's "Alpha Dog of the Week"

2010-08-11T16:24:00.000-07:00

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Alpha Dog of the Week - Steven Slater

2010 Election

Fox News

Thomas Pynchon's First Simpsons Appearance (2004)

2010-08-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

I was reminded today of the incredibly cool and unexpected Simpsons appearances by the reclusive Thomas Pynchon. So here's the first, where he provided a blurb for Marge's book:

Icelandic Soccer Goal Celebration: Fishing

2010-07-28T09:38:00.001-07:00

Why I Haven't Read a TV or Movie Review in Years (SPOILER: Because of Spoilers)

2010-07-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

These two "classic posts" still ring true today. Maybe even truer. (Except that since then I have seen a couple of Harry Potter movies.)

DEFENSIVE MOVIEGOING (12/17/05)

So I don't get to the movies nearly as often as I like to, because I work a lot. (And because I'm busy tracking Japanese women's flatulence statistics.)

But this morning I had to go see King Kong, which was fun. Don't worry, I won't give anything away. And when I say that, you can bet on it.

Because, you see, I had to go see King Kong.

Had to.

Even though I really didn't have time, I had to engage in what I like to call "Defensive Moviegoing."

D.M. is the necessary shields-up protection against a mass media that seems hellbent on telling you each and every key plot point of every new movie before you have a chance to see it.

Never mind the trailer that tells the whole story. That's the trailer's job. We have to live with that.

I'm going to focus on the critics and reviewers. (And yes, there is a big difference.) They ruin movies for no reason other than... I don't know what it is. Sadism?

I first noticed it when I saw Siskel & Ebert review The Crying Game. Now before I tell this story, remember two things:

1. I'm telling this from a very old memory, so it may not be exactly right, okay, Comic Book Guy?

2. Revealing that there IS a twist in a movie IS THE SAME AS REVEALING A TWIST.

Okay, so: Roger (an actual critic) reviewed the movie, careful not to mention that there was a twist at all. Good for Roger.

Then Gene mentioned that there was a shocking twist. (D'oh!) Roger -- I like to think a little exasperated -- admonished him not to tell what it was. Gene assured him he wouldn't, but "suffice it to say, it's a twist that will make you question your beliefs about sexual identity."

Gee, thanks, Gene.

Here's a typical, modern-day example. It's made up, but I'm sure you've read sentences like this one all the time in reviews:

"Sinise is fine for much of the movie, but it's only in the last act, when a plot twist calls upon his character to take a darker turn, that he really gets to let loose."

WTF??!

Or the more subtle variation:

"Hackman is effective, as a cop apparently helping Jackman track the missing gold."

Now what on Earth would motivate the reviewer to add the word "apparently"? Is it to prove to us that he's smarter than we are? That he really saw the movie?

Is he afraid that if he didn't add that word, that we'll see the movie, be surprised that Gene Hackman turns out to be the bad guy, and then write a mocking letter, "Hey Reviewer Asshole! Didn't you see the whole last half hour? Gene Hackman was the bad guy!!"

Trust us, Reviewer Asshole. If anyone writes that letter, you don't have to print it.

Maybe -- and this more likely -- someone just held Reviewer Asshole's head in the toilet in high school, and he swore then and there that he'd never let anyone ever have fun ever again.

I swear to you, I am going to start a "burning torches" club. And I need your help.

The next time a reviewer mentions that an actor is excellent as a "doomed" character, let's go down there with burning torches.

The next time a reviewer says any movie "has an ending reminiscent of The Sixth Sense," let's go down there with burning torches.

The next time a reviewer mentions how delightful such-and-such is in a "surprise, unbilled cameo," let's definitely go down there with burning torches.

Until then we'll have to practice Defensive Moviegoing.

HERE'S HOW PERVASIVE AND UNAVOIDABLE SPOILERS HAVE BECOME (8/12/07)

I have never read a Harry Potter book nor seen a Harry Potter movie.

Nor have I ever read a single article ever about Harry Potter, nor watched a single news report about Harry Potter. I've never talked Harry Potter with a fan.

Nothing against all of you, I simply have no interest. But I instantly turn off anything about Harry Potter because someday I might want to read the books.

So I deliberately avoid everything Potter-related.

And yet, I KNOW HOW "DEATHLY HALLOWS" ENDS!!! By sheer cultural osmosis!

How is that possible???

The Beatles on Doctor Who, 1965

2010-07-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

Two Classic, Brilliant, Flawless SCTV Sketches: "Night School Hi Q" and "Half Wits"

2010-07-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

Colbert & Carell on The Colbert Report/Carell Corral

2010-07-08T09:52:00.001-07:00

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Steve Carell

2010 Election

Fox News

The Daily Show: Jon Stewart's Brilliant Look at the History of Our Energy "Independence"

2010-06-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

An Energy-Independent Future

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c